Everything For The One Thing I Can't Have
by Syaoran's Tenshi Itsumademo
Summary: After Syaoran left, Sakura moved on,but what about their promises to each other? Wen Syaoran finally returns, his world turned upside down when he learned that Sakura had some1 else. S&S. EPILOGUE UPLOADED!
1. The promise

Chapter 1 EVERYTHING FOR THE ONE THING I CAN'T HAVE

EVERYTHING FOR THE ONE THING I CAN'T HAVE

By: ~*Angel of Light*~

Author's notes: Konnichiwa minna-san!Umm..ok this is a kindda sad fic….it's going to be kinda weird, like it's a short one, with a few chaps, but not a one-shot….so I dunno what to call it, and I don't like to do real long ones, cuz I just hate doing long and sad stories. Hmmm…and it may end in a happy ending..or a dark one. ( I'm still deciding, but you'll see what happens). Anyways, enough of me yapping. Here's the fic..hope minna san likes it!! ^^

Sakura walked down the road home holding hands with her boyfriend. Ever since Syaoran left, she was depressed, but she got over it, and started a new life. But the one thing keeps popping into her mind. Was the promise she made at the airport before Syaoran's departure. ~*~Shaoran-kun! I promise I'll wait for you until you come back!~*~Sakura-Chan…I promise I'll come back*~ He had said. She somehow felt guilty. But then again, had Syaoran kept his promise? No. It has been 8 years since he left. Why would she expect him to come back all of a sudden. Tasaoran led Sakura to the park. Sakura followed. When she got there. Memories flooded her mind. The card capting days,….with Tomoyo filming their captures. Syaoran helping her fight. Kero, Yue, and Eroil guiding her. A tear trickled down her cheeks softly. Tasaoran looked at her and they sat at the swings. " What's wrong Sakura?" He asked gently, putting his hands around her shoulders. She gave out a small smile. And shook her head. " Just some childhood memories," she replied. " Were they unpleasant?" He asked. Sakura shook her head. " They were wonderful….and most……unique," she said trying to find the right words. He smiled. "It just reminds me of my…friend….that left me at grade 6. It was depressing," She said, once again trying to find the right words. He gently stroked her hair. " Well, I promise that I'll always be there, and I promise that I'll help you out whenever in need," He was going to continue, when Sakura cut him off. She shrugged his hands off her shoulders. " No…." she whispered. He blinked. He was confused. " No more promises….."she said , holding her head in her hands. Then she got up and walked off. " Sakura…I-," He was going to continue. " No,…..i'm not mad.. I just wanna have sometime alone," She said and continued off. He sighed, and went off as well.

" Sakura! You're home…..I'm making noodles tonight, I promise they are going to be great!" Fujitaka exclaimed happily. Sakura shut her eyes, and just went upstairs to her room. She sat on her desk, and she opened to her assignment….on……promises, and friendship. " Argh!!" She said angrily, and slammed the book shut. "Why the heck is everything on Promises?!? I feel so guilty,….but it's the baka's fault," She yelled. Kero shot up from his drawer, and looked around frantically. " What's wrong?? I heard you say baka," Kero said. Sakura sweat dropped, and shook her head. Kero gave her the eyebrow. His mistress hardly **ever** called someone a baka, specially someone close to her. She must be in a bad mood, he thought, and slowly flew back over to his video game. " Gomen, Kero… I'm just pissed off," she said. Kero gave her a questioning look. She sighed. " I don't know why,,..but everything lately seemed to be about baka promises. Minna'ssaying things about Promises. I feel bad….but…." she said tiredly. " Sakura… it's not your fault, it was his, he shouldn't have left you,….you're giving pressure to yourself….you love Tasaoran now right?" He said. Sakura turned her head. She gave a slight nod. But something in her heart's stopping her. But she doesn't even want to think about it. 

The next day, a weekend. Sakura took a walk down the road, in the cool autumn breeze blowing against her hair. She sat down at the bottom of the slide of the penguin park. She tided her shoelaces, and saw a white, and blue sneakers in front of her. She slowly looked up, examining this mysterious person, as she did so. She saw a man with brown unruly chocolaty hair, and amber brown eyes. In a light blue jacket, and baggy jeans. He was fit, and strong. She felt the strong aura surround her body. "S-S-Shaoran-kun…………" She mumbled. " Sakura……" He said calmly. She walked over to the swings, and they took a seat. "I'm finally done my training," He said happily, with warmth in his eyes. " " h-how come you never wrote, or contacted me?" She asked. " Gomen,…..The elders didn't allow it, I really wanted though…that's why I came back as fast as possible," he explained. " Oh," Sakura mumbled. He looked confused. " How come you don't seem very happy to see me?" He asked softly. Sakura's head shot up. " ummm…. I just don't know how to break it to you," She said quietly. He seemed even more confused. He held her hand. Sakura felt awarm sensation around her. But she shook it off. " I-I-I-I have a-a B-boyf-friend," She said quietly. Syaoran dropped her hands. He stared at her in plain shock. He stood up. " B-b-but, you said you'd wait for me," He stammered. Sakura turned her head. "I kept my promise. I came back. And I gave up everything for you…..I was supposed to stay back there to take the Leader's place. But I refused, and I went against my family, my future for you. And you're telling me that, that……" He wasn't able to continue on. Then he calmed down. " If you couldn't' keep your promise…..then why make it?" He asked angrily, but tried to control himself, and said it quietly. Tears fell onto Sakura's cheeks lightly, she felt warm whispers blowing on her cheeks. She gulped, then she turned to look into the amber eyes….so cold, and angry,…but deep deep in his eyes,..she thought she could see a twinkle of sadness and indescribable look of disappointment…or even deeper. " I-I-I thought that I could handle it," she mumered. " I was too young, I didn't realize." She added. He shook his head. " No……maybe it was just me. MaybeI expected too much from the love…. I gave everything for. I kept my promise. Same age. But with the eagerness to be with you…to be driven by love. Now I'm here to find out I've been living in a lie," he said with his eyes closed…to keep his tears from falling. Sakura didn't know what to say. It was true, he did it. But she couldn't. She wanted to say something…that could possibly make it better……but she couldn't. 

Syaoran stood up, and turned around, his back facing her, and took a small step, one after another. He felt weak. So weak, he couldn't' even lift his head up, and let his legs support his body. Felt like falling, into a sorrow deeper than he could bear. Sakura just sat there. She held her head in her hands. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to call out his name. But she couldn't find the words after that. 

Sakura ran home as fast as her legs could carry her. She ran into her house, and ran upstairs. Touya wouldn't be coming back that night, cause he had a business trip, and Fujitaka would come home late that night. She buried herself under her covers of her bed. Kero flew over. " Ummm…Sakura, is it really that cold??" He asked, giving her the eyebrow. But then he heard sobbing. " what's the matter, Sakura?" He asked gently. Sakura looked up, and explained everything. " Oh, Sakura…it isn't all your fault..he shouldn't have been so mean….I'll kill that gaki!" He said the last part in a whisper. He knew if she heard, it would just make her more upset, but he was angry at him. " No….Kero, what he said, was right, b-but I don't know what to do," Sakura said quietly, tears still falling down on her face. "Hmmm…Sakura, I don't know what he said to you….but I don't know how to comfort you…..you should go talk with Tomoyo….Cuz I just don't understand ' Girl' stuff," Kero said. Sakura gave a small smile, and she went to get the phone downstairs. After a good talk with Tomoyo, Sakura felt better,….but still, she couldn't get his words out of her mind, nor get a good idea of what to do. 

That night, she laid in bed , thinking about it. Tears came down her face again. And she cried herself to sleep. 

The next day, and the next, then the next…..Syaoran didn't appear,..he didn't go to school, he didn't show up anywhere, for weeks. Sakura was getting edgy. She wondered what could possibly happen. Could he have went back? She had asked herself lots and lots of times. Tasaoran was getting worried. Sakura 's heart didn't seem to be with him while they're going out, and spending time together, she was always drifting off. But Sakura wouldn't tell him what was wrong. She'd just say she was fine, or tired. He tried to get Tomoyo to tell him, but Tomoyo wouldn't, and told him that she just needed time alone to think about personal issues. 

" Sakura,…..lately you've been ignoring my questions….what's wrong? Something's on your mind, can't you let me know?" He asked gently. Sakura just gave out a sigh. " Gomen nasai….but I just need to deal with something alone. It's personal," She answered briefly. " But I'm your boyfriend,….can't you let me help you? Your problems are supposed to be mine too. We can bear it together," he reasoned. Sakura just shook her head. He got a little frustrated. " Why can't you tell me, and can tell Tomoyo??" he demanded. " She's my bestfriend!" Sakura said slightly frustrated herself. " And I'm your boyfriend!!" He almost yelled, but calmed down his voice, not wanting to hurt Sakura. But she didn't seem to notice. She had had enough problems for a while. " You just wouldn't understand," She said. " Try me!" he said firmly. Sakura sighed. She closed her eyes, to relax a bit. She shook her head. " Onegaii,….just let me be alone." She said, and walked away. But what was really on her mind, was……………….. Where was Syaoran? 

Author's notes: Sooooo….how was it??? Onegaii Review… 

__


	2. Shiko

Chapter 2 EVERYTHING FOR THE ONE THING I CAN'T HAVE

Chapter 2EVERYTHING FOR THE ONE THING I CAN'T HAVE

By: ~*Angel of light *~

Author's notes: Konnichiwa minna-san! Umm…..this chapter's kindda……weird. It felt so long when I was typing it. But onegaii read it too!! I worked soooo hard on it. * sighs * flame if you must. But onegaii be a little nice. 

Syaoran walked down the street slowly. The Sun was setting, making the sky an orange red color. He stopped and leaned against a pole. He looked up at the sky. It's so Sugoi……. If only I could see it with Sakura. He thought sadly. Subconciously he started to walk across the road, it was still a red light for pedestrians. But he didn't seem to notice the world around him. Cars horned him. But he didn't notice…anything at all. His head hung low. Suddenly he heard a loud horn. He looked up slowly to see a truck headed his way. It was going to hit him, a few more inches, and it would've touched him. He could easily blow it away, with a touch of magic, so light that nobody would even notice….but he didn't want to do it. If what happened was fate…..Then, let this be fate too. He thought. He shut eyes, and waited for it to hit him……..

Suddenly, he felt being pulled away, and nothing hit him. He opened his eyes slowly. He turned his head slowly to face the person,…..he wanted it so much to be Sakura. But it wasn't. He saw a long dark brown haired, kind bluish grey eyed, tall slender girl smiling at him. " That was close……why did you just froze? You could've been killed!" She said concernedly.

He chuckled. She blinked, not believing that he could be chuckling about something so serious. His expression turned into a sad expression….that showed that he wanted to be cut off from the world. She stared into his amber eyes. That showed such….mysterious emotions. She smiled a little smile. He shut her eyes closed for a little while, and then opened her eyes. " I understand," she said softly. He blinked, and looked into her eyes. She seemed to have understood him without him saying a single word to her. She grabbed his arm softly, and led him to a direction. He didn't go against it. He let her take him. 

She dragged him into a little restaurant. She took a table outside, facing the sunset. He reluctantly sat down across to her. The waiter came over. Syaoran didn't feel like eating. He just wanted to get a water. He was going to say so, when the girl ordered two waters already. " You don't mind do you?" she asked. " Mind what?" He asked, kind of expecting her to say about dragging him to the restaurant without asking. But to his surprise, she didn't. " Mind me pulling you away, from your chance to let your sorrow go?" She replied. He looked up. " H-how d-did y-you know?" He asked.She didn't answer his question. " Isn't life fragile?" She asked. He didn't answer. " Isn't sorrows so much easier to get, than to let go?" She asked again. " Sometimes…….you can't just…let it …go," he said sadly. " Oh, yes, you'd think that wouldn't you?" She simply said. Tears felt like threatening to pour down his face." I know that feeling very well," she said. Then she told him about her story, a chapter of life, and love of her life. He didn't know why, and how. But he told her everything. Except the Clow cards. But he even felt like telling her. He couldn't believe he was pouring everything to a stranger. But it felt like warmth….a person to turn to. And he couldn't stop. She listened carefully. After he was finished. He expected her to give him pity, and say comforting words. But she didn't. She didn't say anything. Just like he didn't. They just kind of sat there. (Author's Notes: Ok, this is getting nowhere,…rite? *** Sighs * **it seemed sooo long when I was typing it….)

Suddenly. They stared at their glass of water. Which wasn't even touched yet. Then they stared at each other. Then they smirked at each other, everything in union.Nobody could've guessed what they were going to do. They grabbed the glass In their hands. Then for no reason……………………SPLASH!! They splashed their water at each other. They laughed loudly. As minna-san around them stared at them oddly. And moved farther away from them, staring at them like they were insane.Syaoran gave them his death glare, and they quickly turned around andcontinued on whatever they were doing. " Let's go," She whispered, and dragged him out of there. They walked down the dark road laughing. " Umm,,,,……I still haven't asked you,….What's your name?" He asked. She smiled. " Shiko," She replied. " Oh……Konnichiwa Shiko-chan," he said playfully. She smiled. Then gave him a look. He blinked. " Heh, Li Syaoran, most of my friends call me Li-Kun, except…." He stopped right there. His playful expression turned into a sad one once more. He stared at the ground. Then he felt her warm hand on his chin, and softly bringing his head up facing her. " Li-Kun……it's the miracle of life." He was a little confused. ,Miracle of life? " Do you go to Tomeoda high?" She asked. " Well, not yet….i don't know how to face her," He said quietly. " Well….go." She simply said.She smiled, and turned around , walking away to the other direction, he just stood there staring. Then, he saw something shiny drop out of her bag. He ran and picked it up. He was going to call after her, but she was too far away. He looked at it. It was a cd case. In side was a cd. And a title on the case. 'Everything for the one thing I can't have' it said. 

When he got home. He took some time deciding whether it would be appropiate, to listen to it. Finally he popped it into his cd player. And a soft rhythm came on.

_Everything I gave for the one thing_

_I couldn't have. But the question I _

_Have lingering my mind is, was it_

_Worth it all?_

_ _

_Everything I did, I tried, I gave,_

_I owned, I had, I gave to you. _

_I did the impossible for the one thing I couldn't have._

_ _

_Did you know? What I sacrificed for a love I thought I had? _

_Was it not enough? For you from me?_

_Was it worth it? _

_Let me know……………._

_Stop me from living lies. _

_Say the four words if you mean it, bring the truth to me_

_I want to live in the truth, not a lie._

_ _

_Everything I did, I tried, I gave, I owned,_

_I had, I gave to you. I did the impossible for the one thing_

_I couldn't have._

__

_Love means you. And when I couldn't have you_

_The warmth in love, the sensation of warmth, the light of hope_

_And the……..miracle of life died out on me. _

_Why did I do everything just to get torn into half?_

_ _

_Everything I did, I tried, I gave, I owned, I had_

_I gave to you. I did the impossible for the one_

_Thing I couldn't have. _

_ _

_I gave up ,my life, my family, my home my love, my heart for you. Somethings_

_I thought was worth everything may not be. You_

_Couldn't give me what I would die for, so can't you at least_

_Give me the truth? Nothing is worth anything anymore._

_Love is destined, a destiny. Something worth it. But this ain't love. Don't _

_Promises mean anything to you?_

_ _

_Everything I did, I tried,I gave, I owned, I had I gave for you._

_I did the impossible for the one thing I couldn't have._

_ _

_Tell me was it worth it? Should I keep giving,_

_Still giving, and forever giving?_

_Love isn't easy, but it's even harder just to find a love. A love without lovers, is not a love. A_

_Relationship with out love, is not a relationship._

_I wanna know what we had, what we're having, and_

_What we're going to have forever. Do we have it?_

_ _

_Everything I did, was for the one thing I couldn't have……_

_I'll give a thousand million times everything for a love………I can have, and worth having_

_ _

A tear dropped down his cheeks. He felt like he did exactly as the song said. It seemed to be a reflection. But from meeting Shiko today,…..he decided to give it a shot. At least to get things clear, if she loves him or not. 

Author's notes: This chapter was really boring…..wasn't it? It was a little weird too. I mean…..Suddenly he meets a crazy girl??? LOL, ( I'm so pathetic, I'm making fun of my own story) ……now minna-san thinks I'm weird too. -.- anywayz, hope next chapter's gonna be better. Onegaii Review. Like I said, flame if you must. I don't care what you say in it, just review please…..pretty please?? I want…10 reviews…….9?……8?……7?…6?…5?…errr…4!!!! at least 4 please???? * drops on knees, and begs * I mean, there's no fun in writing a fic, without the reader's opinions. All suggestions are welcome. Remember, please, please,please, at least 4….

I know I'm a little hyper there….crazy@_@, but ummm…can't blame me…I've been typing nonstop for the last 3, 4 hours. It's a LOT for me. I dunno for other author's but that's very much for me.


	3. Feeling Guilty?

Chapter 3 EVERYTHING FOR THE ONE THING I CAN'T HAVE  
By: ~*Angel Of Light*~, or Syaoran's Tenshi Itsumademo (Angel of light waz my old penname, datz why sum of my fics sayz it's written by ~*Angel Of Light*~)  
Author's notes: Konnichiwa minna-san!! Arigato to all those who reviewed^_^, n if u haven't already, onegai R&R my other fics too! I might replace this chapter later 'cause i still have some editing to do, but i'm a lil too lazy rite now..ehehe, but newayz  
Onegaii review!!  
  
Sakura felt a funny twinkle, as she got up from bed. She got ready, and skated to school. She felt funny, and couldn't describe it. As she entered the school, she felt the strong aura. She entered the classroom, and heard minna-san talk about some new student. The sensai came in, and minna-san quieted down.  
" Today we have a new student from Hong Kong, some of you may know him from Tomeoda elementary school," He said, and Syaoran came in. All the girls, stared at him, with hearts in their eyes anime style. But Syaoran's expression was as cold as ever. The Sensai pointed to the seat behind Sakura, and beside Tomoyo. He took his seat, and the class began. Sakura couldn't wait for the class to end, she had to talk to him.  
When class finally ended, which seemed like eternity to Sakura. Syaoran stood up, and just walked out the door, as if Sakura didn't exist. She was a little hurt, but he is the one who's mad at her.  
" Shaoran-kun, wait up!!" Sakura called. He stopped, but he didn't turn around to face her.   
" What is it?" He asked in a monotone.   
" I-I need to talk to you…could you and I have a talk at lunch?……At the outside of the school," Sakura said, just as the bell rang for their next class. She sighed and walked onto her next class. Syaoran just kindda froze there. He thought to himself.  
The whole class, Syaoran's mind was on Sakura, and whether he should go or not. The next few classes passed by, and it was lunch period. He thought harshly, and walked to the front field of the school. Sakura stood there looking away, as he approached her. Sakura had been thinking of what to say to him, cause she knew she had to say something. " What do you want to talk about?" He asked nervously, but trying so hard to not let that show in his voice. " Umm….well, where were you these last few weeks??" She asked nervously. Syaoran's face hardened.   
" Just walking around,….taking a break from pain." Sakura's eyes welled up again.   
" G-g-gomen nasai Shaoran-kun…gomen nasai…." She said in a begging tone. He just looked away. " What are you trying to say or do here?" He asked.   
"Is that all you're going to say? Gomen? * heh * I've already heard that way too many times to believe it." He said coldly.   
"Gomen nasai, but I got to go eat my lunch now," He said and walked away. Tomoyo bumped into Syaoran as she came out to see where Sakura went.   
" Daidouji-san," He said, and walked away. Tomoyo walked over to the crying Sakura.   
" Sakura,…..daijoubu desu ka?" She asked softly. Sakura just held her head in her hands, and sobbing quietly.   
" Sakura……..make yourself clear……do you still love Syaoran? Or are you just feeling guilty? Because it's two different things, and I can imagine how he feels," Tomoyo said. If she was any other friend, Sakura might have gotten real mad at her, but she was her best friend, it was her job to point Sakura's mistakes, and advice her.   
" I don't know Tomoyo……" Sakura sobbed.   
" Well,……figure it out," Tomoyo said, and led Sakura into the cafeteria, since it was freezing cold outside.   
Syaoran wondered, why he even wanted to be mean to Sakura, he wanted to be with her, but he couldn't seem to find the words, or even find it in his heart to let go of it. And maybe Sakura DIDN"T want to be with him, just feeling guilty.   
He went home that evening, feeling worst. He opened his door, and suddenly, out of nowhere someone jumped onto him, and put their hands around his neck.   
"NANI?!?!?! Wa the heck---?!?!!" Syaoran yelled.   
"Konnichiwa, Syaoran!!" The cheerful, annoying voice screeched.   
"Oh, kami-sama, mou….you just couldn't STAY there, CAN you?!" He yelled. The person didn't loose their smile.   
"Iie!!!" She yelled in his ear, over his own loud voice. He covered his ears.   
"Whatever, I'm tired, don't bother me right now," he said, and walked into his room, slamming his door behind him. "Sugoi, what's wrong with Him?" She asked herself.   
"Oh, ya!! I gotta call!!!" She said, and walked over to the phone.   
  
"Konnichiwa? AHHH, IT"S You, I missed you!! How's everything with u guys?……….Oh no……..Ok, I'll come over right away!!" She called happily through the phone, and grabbed her coat. Locked the door, and ran down the street.   
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Meanwhile, Sakura and Tasaoran:  
DING DONG the doorbell rung. Sakura ran to the door, and opened it. "Sy-o, Tasaoran,…"Sakura said. Tasaoran smiled faintly. He knew he heard her say "Sy-" but he wasnt in the mood.   
" Sakura,......" he whispered faintly.   
" Daijoubo desu ka?" Sakura asked gently.  
"M-my..... Otou-san just called me...... Okaa-san was seriously ill, and she d-died yesterday," Tasaoran said with tears in his eyes. Sakura leaned in and gave him a hug.   
" She wouldn't be happy if she saw you cry right now........ and she's not really gone, she'll always be up there," Sakura pointed to the sky, " looking over you." She led Tasaoran to the living room, and gave him a cup of tea. Suddenly , the phone rang.   
  
" Moshi Moshi, Kinomoto's residence," Sakura said into the phone. Syaoran was on the other end, he wanted to talk, but words couldn't come out of his mouth. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he heard,  
" Sakura, who is it?" Tasaoran asked. Sakura shrugged. Syaoran slowly put the reciever down.   
CLICK, the phone connection was disconnected.   
" Gomen for taking up your time, and i better go now, i still have to fly to New York tomorrow to Okaa-san's funeral," Tasaoran said.   
" It's Ok, I hope you feel better, Sayonara!" Sakura said as he left. She wanted to go and talk to Syaoran right then, but she couldn't, she felt guilty, Tasaoran is still her boyfriend.   
Tasaoran needs her support at a time like this, but she's got so much worries on her hands already. She couldn't think straight, and this question still lingers in her mind. Was Syaoran her everything, or Tasaoran?   
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Meanwhile, at Tomoyo's house:  
" TOMOYO DAIDOUJI!!!!!"  
Tomoyo turned around, and gasped, "MEI-LING-CHAN!!!!!!!!"  
  
Author's notes:HAHA, Meiling is baaaaaaaaccccccccccccckkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!HEHHEHEHEHE,.....gomen, newayz, i got one word 4 minna-san,...REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai, onegai!!!!!!!!!! *drops on her knees, n cries till her house floods* pwwwweeeeeeeeeezzzzz!!! 


	4. Would You Die For Her?

Chapter 4                             EVERYTHING FOR THE ONE THING I CAN'T HAVE

By: Syaoran's Tenshi Itsumademo

Author's Notes: Konnichiwa minna-san! Here's Chapter 4, I've been working on, and I've decided from now on, I'm making a Thank You section for all the reviewers, even though I don't get a lot L Demo, I'm still very appreciative of all of those who did review~ And, also I'll add a Japanese Translations section, for some of you that don't understand some of the Japanese words, so just to let you all know, and Onegaii REVIEW!!!! 

Tin – Arigato for the review, and hai, sumtimes it is getting boring, there might be sum actions here later on too, demo not too much, well, I always like to keep it S&S romance, onegai review this chapter too~!

Sakura Bunnie- arigato for the review, and did I make it seem like Meiling and Syaoran were boyfriend girlfriend? Well it wasn't supposed to be….ehehe, just trying to show the "usual" meiling lol… cya on msn~ n Onegai review~

butterfly_grl4 – ehh….it will be, don't worry, n onegai review~

Emzo – Arigato for the review!! I'm glad u liked my story ^_^ I hope u will like this chapter too, well, onegaii review ~!!

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         Meiling sat across from Syaoran, and studied him for a long time. Syaoran was emotionless, and seemed as though, he had forgotten Meiling had came back. Meiling stared at him, with hurt in her eyes. She wasn't hurt that Syaoran didn't notice her, she was pained, to see him like that. She knew his reasons, and Syaoran has meant most to her, even though she knew Syaoran would never be hers, she wants his happiness. 

         "Syaoran……something wrong between you and Kinomoto-san?" Meiling asked. Syaoran nodded. 

         " She doesn't love me anymore, she's got someone else," he said.

         "Then why are you still here?" Meiling asked. Syaoran didn't know how to answer.

         "  would you do anything for her? Would even give up your life for her?" Meiling asked.

         "Hai, of course I will, how could I not?" Syaoran replied. 

         " Then try to sort things out with her!" Meiling said.

         " Demo….how do I know, that she would really do the same, she's got a boyfriend, why would she waste what she has, on me?" Syaoran asked. Meiling grew silent. She sighed, and went into her room. And Syaoran continued to stare into space, seeing nothing through his eyes, even though it was open. 

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         "Tomoyo-Chan…..I think this shouldn't go on….Syaoran's just like a lifeless, hopless, soulless, shell now, and Kinomoto-san seems to be confused and stressed at the same time, it hurts me," Meiling said to Tomoyo, the next day at her house. Tomoyo nodded.

         " Hai, Meiling-Chan…I agree, demo, I don't know how to help," Tomoyo said sadly. 

         "Well, I've thought of something, it may be unfair to them, demo, it will get things straighten out once and for all," Meiling said firmly. Tomoyo looked at her in surprise, and curiosity.

         "What is it, Meiling-Chan, I hope it won't hurt Sakura-Chan or Li-Kun," Tomoyo asked.

         " It might hurt them, demo it will be controlled, and it's the only way," Meiling Said. Tomoyo sighed, demo nodded. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            _would__ you die for kinomoto-san? Meiling's words stuck in Syaorans head that night, as he lay in his bed, thinking.  _

          _ Could you really sacrifice all you have, everything that you hav, everything that meant to you, your pride, your hope, your heart, your life? _

Syaoran asked himself over and over again. A part of him was angered, raged, another part of it was of Sadness, sorrows, pain, hurt, and then there was the part of him, which felt , lost, and mixed feelings of anger, sadness, love, pain. 

          Sakura was at her bed, and in her mind, she screamed to stop thinking about Syaoran and the incident, she screamed at herself to let her fall into sleep, and wishing all of it was a dream when she wakes up. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          Meiling called Yelan Li that night, and had the elders help transport her to them, to discuss something (author's notes: Ya, I kno, it doesn't exist the transporting thingy, I just made it up, so if you were wondering, I made it up, ok? Ok…back to the story)

Meiling stood in front of the elders.

          " I have a request, it's concerning Xiao Lang," Meiling said.

          " What is it?" One of the Elders asked.

          " I require the help of your magic, to work out a plan of mine," Meiling said.

          "And what is the plan?" The Elders asked.

          " It's a plan to get XiaoLang's feelings for the Card Mistress sorted out," Meiling answered.

          " well, what does that have to do with us?" The elders asked.

          " He is in a bad shape right now, and if his heart is still confused, he won't ever be able to give all his time, and effort and really put his heart into the Li Clan, plus, he might come back earlier if the result makes him," Meiling said, quivering, because the Elders were powerful, and she didn't want to offend them. The elders looked at each other, and discussed it quietly with one another, they finally looked at Meiling.

          " Ok, we will help," The elders said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Syaoran awoke the next morning, in a cold sweat. _ I feel a strong aura, mixed, demo, why? Where could it be from? It's not like Clow Reeds, and is definitely not Sakura's….. what could it be?! Syaoran thought to himself. Demo, he just ignored it, hoping everything will go right. _

             When he got to school, that morning, he saw Sakura sitting at her desk, with a shocked expression. Sakura went over to talk with Tomoyo, and her expression was serious, her expression was like the one, she used to have, when they found a clow card, or when something wrong was happening. Syaoran knew something was wrong. 

              "Tomoyo-chan!! I can't believe it! Demo, not even Kero knows whats really going on…." Sakura said.

              " Oh, that's horrible….you're going to have to find it back soon!" Tomoyo cried. Syaoran turned around.

              " Li-Kun! Just the right time, The Windy card, just got freed!" Tomoyo cried. Syaoran stared at her with shock.

              "Demo, how could that happen? How did it set free, who did it?!" Syaoran asked. Tomoyo shrugged and shook her head. He looked over to Sakura, and she was just as confused. Syaoran sighed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          Syaoran was walking home, after school, and he suddenly felt a faint magic zip past. He blinked, and looked all around him. It felt like a card, demo, it was strangely strong. Stronger than it had been before. He ran, trying to sense where it was, demo, suddenly, he felt a pink aura, It was strong, demo, it was weakening, and now it was faint, and he could barely sense it._ SAKURA!! Syaoran quickly, ran to the direction. And there, at the park, Tomoyo was unconscious at the tree, and Ceroberus was spread on the ground, Yue was holding his left arm, and trying to get a grip, and stand up. Sakura, was running, and running. Syaoran blinked, it's so strong, so much stronger….demo, why? But he didn't have the time, Sakura was in danger. He ran over to Sakura, and pulled Sakura out of it's way, and Sakura was weak, she huddled in his arms, and her eyes trying to keep open. _

          " SAKURA!!!" Syaoran yelled, as she fainted in his arms. He looked up and he saw Windy headed his way, Syaoran tried to dodge it, demo, he was feeling weak, lately, he had been terribly weak, and was often drifting off. He covered Sakura with his own body, and prepared to be hit. He gazed back at the windy, it was headed straight at him, She was in her true form, and her eyes were………red? He squeezed his eyes shut…..and……

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: Did that make much sense? Gomen ne, if it didn't, and I know this chapter was short, demo, ONEGAII REVIEW!! Any Comments are Welcomed~ JA NE~

**Japanese Translations:::  
Sakura Kinomoto = Sakura Avalon  
Li Syaoran(Japanese form)/Xiao Lang(chinese form) = Li Showron  
Tomoyo Daidouji = Madison Taylor  
Li Meiling = Meilin Rae  
Konnichiwa= Hi  
Minna-san = Everyone  
Hai = Yes/ Ok  
Demo = But  
Arigato = Thank you**

Onegaii = Please


	5. learn to let go

Chapter 5                **EVERYTHING FOR THE ONE THING I            **

**                                     CAN'T HAVE**

Author's Notes: Konnichiwa minna-san!! It's been long..@.@ I've been kindda stuck…writers block…but I'll try to make this chapter better…I have gotten some complaints about my messy chapter..=P Arigato for telling me my mistakes, for those who pointed things out. I'll try and make this chapter better. ^^

**_Legend:_**

_Italics-Thoughts of a character._

~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Scene Change/divider.

*Author's Notes*- Author's notes, My notes.

((…)) –Extra info. 

**_Thank you's:  
_****Kirei**** Blossoms- I've re-read my stories and found i agree, it is sorta strange for using "demo" in everything. Arigato for informing me, and I hope u'll review this chapter!**

**SakuraBunnie****- *hides* onegaii don't kill me!! LoL…wel, Arigato for reviewing, and plz review this chapter too!! ((p.s: I LOOK UGLY, RITE? T.T ur so pretty!!))  
****SAKURA LOVER- Arigato for reviewing, I try to make my chapters longer, but I just can't write long chapters unlike some other authors. Plz review this chapter too^^******

**DreamSeraph****- Arigato for reviewing, same as what I wrote for Kirei Blossoms, I'll change my faults. Plz review this chapter too, and I hope this one will be better^^**

**SoulSister****- Arigato for reviewing, and I hope u'll review this chapter too^^  
****Sailor Krypton-Arigato! ^^ plz review this chapter too!!  
****Jurei****- Arigato, plz review this chapter!!^^  
****butterfly_grl4-Arigato for reviewing, plz review this chapter too!!  
****Mysterious Dark Eyed Wanderer-hmm…datz a nice name, "mysterious Dark Eyed Wanderer" ..lol, well arigato for the offer, but I got lazy to reply, and I think it was confusing…but thnx newayz, n plz review this chapter too!! "hope it'll be better than da last"  
****AngelicPnai****- Well see, it's really got nothing to do with meling's eyes, cuz I made windy's eyes red, to show dat it's turned sorta..evil. As for Meiling, yes she's up to sumthin….*evil grin*, but wut? U'll hav to find out!!! ^^ plz review this chapter!!  
****Emzo****- *hides from angry Emzo* ehehe..^^ Domo Arigato for ur review, and I'll continue it..lol…U'll find out why windy's eyes r red, soon. I've been kindda stuck lately, so this chapter I'm trying my hardest to make it better, but not too sure It will be…well plz review this chapter too!!  
****Aerisakura****- Arigato for reviewing, plz review this chapter too!  
****Sakura- Arigato for da review, plz review this chapter too^^**

**Diana@Lineelu2001- I like making cliff hangers…they r fun!! ^^ hehehe…*evil grin*   
****MingShao****- Arigato for reviewing my fic, And of course I review ur story, it's good! Plz review this chapter too! ^^**

Author's notes: well, Here's da story minna-san!! ((walks away to get a popsicle))  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            They came inches close to death, when…windy disappeared back into a card. Syaoran slowly opened his eyes again, as the Sakura Card flew back into Sakura's bag. He turned to Sakura, and stroked her hair lightly. She was unconscious. Yue, whom was now turned into Yukito, was still injured, but he placed Kero, now in smaller form, on his shoulder, and picked up Tomoyo. He walked over to Syaoran and Sakura, and told Syaoran to take Sakura home, and he'll manage Tomoyo and Kero. *author's notes: ya..i kno…tiz is so stupid…*sighs* T.T*  
  


Syaoran's House:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          Syaoran gently laid a hot towel on Sakura's Forehead. He knew Touya and Fujitaka wouldn't be home that night, so nobody could take care of Sakura, so he brought her to his apartment. Sakura was still unconscious, from using so much energy. Syaoran just stared at Sakura's face, memorizing every curve and lines, as if he can never see the beauty ever again. He wanted so bad to forget everything that happened, he wished that he'd never come back to Japan, and he wanted to forgive Sakura, but the selfish part of him, the stubborn part of him couldn't let go. He could've gone back to Hong Kong, but again, a part of him couldn't let him do that. He held his head in his hands, and tears came to his eyes. He'd never thought there'd be the day, when the strongest, coldest person, could break down and…cry. The Word "cry" wasn't built into his system, it was supposed to be something he's not supposed to do. Something he doesn't KNOW how to do. He lifted his head, to face Sakura's gentle face, and her pure heart. The Clan taught him everything in Martial Arts, in being strong and faithful, but what Sakura taught him, was how to live…how to be a person, that somethings in life is more than being strong. 

           He found her house key in her bag, and carried Sakura home. He laid her down on her bed, and tucked her in. She'd be fine tomorrow, and Touya and Fujitaka would be back the next morning. So he left, and went home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           "WAKE UP KAIJUU!!" Touya yelled in Sakura's ears. Sakura bolted up, and screamed in shock. Then she turned red, and whacked Touya on the head.

           "YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL, AND I'M NOT A KAIJUU!!!!" Sakura screamed angrily. Touya rolled his eyes.

           "Whatever…kaijuu" he said, and left, leaving a very angry Sakura. Then Sakura was confused. All she could remember, was the fight with Windy, and huddling in Syaoran's arms as Windy was about to hit, and she fell unconscious. _How did I end up in my room? She thought. She shrugged, __o well.. Then her eyes widened._

            "HOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL!!!" Sakura Screamed, and quickly got up, and got dressed. Kero flew out from his drawer, sleepily, rubbing his eyes, looking at Sakura, running all over the room, getting ready. He was tired from yesterday, and didn't bother to ask Sakura what happened last night, he flew back inside to sleep. Sakura rumbled down the stairs.

             "Ohayo Otou-san, Ohayo Onii-chan, Ohayo Okaa-san" Sakura greeted everyone, and smiled at the framed picture, Nadeshiko, her passed away okaa-san. ((for those who didn't kno)) She sat down, and gulped down her breakfast quickly. 

             "Sayonara!!" Sakura said, and left for School, roller skating down the path. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

          "Ohayo Tomoyo-Chan!" Sakura greeted Tomoyo. 

          "Onaji…Sakura-Chan, Daijoubo desu ka?" Tomoyo asked. Sakura looked confused, but then remembered about the incident with Windy yesterday.

          "I'm Ok…Are you? I just remember being held in Syaoran's arms, and then everything went black. This morning, I woke up in my own bed," Sakura said. _Maybe Yukito-san took me home, Sakura thought. She turned around to see Syaoran slumped on his desk, looking really tired. Sakura looked worried, but class was going to start. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         After school, Sakura ran home first thing, and observed the Windy card. Yukito came over to Sakura's house with Touya.

         "Yukito-san!! Arigato for bringing me home yesterday after what happened with the Windy" Sakura said. Yukito smiled.

         "I didn't bring you home, I brought Kero and Tomoyo home, Li-kun brought you home," he said. Sakura's eyes widened, and blushed furiously.

         "Did I just hear the Chinese gaki's name?!" Touya said angrily from behind them. Sakura Jumped, her face turning red in anger.

         "HE'S NOT A GAKI!!" Sakura yelled, and held up a fist playfully. Touya rolled his eyes.

         "Kaijuu," He hissed. Sakura stomped on his feet, making Touya jump around holding his foot. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Sakura sat at her desk with Kero on her shoulder. She observed the Windy card, she couldn't see anything different on it. But half of her wasn't really on the card, she couldn't stop thinking about Syaoran. _I wonder if he's still mad at me…. If he is, then why did he save me? But…how can I really expect him to forgive me, when he's tried his best, and I broke my promise? Sakura sighed. She yawned tiredly. She was still weak from the fight. Her eyes wandered around the room until it fell on the phone. She sighed. She walked over to the phone and picked it up. She slowly dialed the first number hesitantly. She dialed the second number, but she couldn't go on, so she slammed the phone down. She stared at the phone longer, and picked it up again. She tried again, and failed. __AHHHH it's just a phone call, what's the matter with me?!?! Sakura thought angrily to herself. Kero stared at Sakura, puzzled. He did a face *author's notes: like tis (-.^)* and went to play his video games. _

       Finally, which seemed like forever, she picked it up, about the billionth time, and this time, dialed all his numbers. She suddenly felt hot, and blood rising up her head, her face was red. She felt the urge to quickly cut the connection, but it was too late, he picked it up. 

        "Moshi Moshi, Li residence," A tired voice came onto the phone.

        "ehhh…Konnichiwa Li-Kun," Sakura said, still blushing.

        "Sakura?" Syaoran asked, surprised.

        "Hai…" Sakura replied.

        "Ohh…ehh...ano..what can I help you with?" he said, while blushing.

        "Ano…I just wanted to say domo arigato for taking me home yesterday," Sakura said quietly.  Syaoran's face turned bright red.

        "H-h-how'd you know it was me?" He asked.

        "Yukito-San told me," Sakura said.

        "O.-oh…" he said.

        "…." They were silent.

        "Li-kun…watashi…watashi.." Sakura studdered,…unsure of what she should say.

        "Watashi-," Sakura was going to say something, when.

        "Gomen Nasai, got to go now, Ja ne," Syaoran quickly said. Sakura felt disappointed, but relieved at the same time. Syaoran was going to hang up, when, 

        "Li-kun?" Sakura asked in a small voice

        "hai?" Syaoran replied.

        "…never mind…oyasumi," Sakura said, and hung up. She sighed.

           Syaoran stared at the phone in his hand. He knew Sakura couldn't love him, and she was happy with Tasaoran. Syaoran felt anger boil his blood when he thought of Tasaoran. He wanted to forgive her, but he couldn't find it in him to do so. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         That night, Syaoran was in his bed,

         _         Where am I? Syaoran looked around the darkness. Then he saw_

_  a person walking up to him. "Who are you?!" Syaoran yelled. Then the person came closer to him. Syaoran's eyes widened as he saw the figure staring back at him……… It was himself. There, stood a Syaoran. "What is going on?! WHO ARE YOU?!" Syaoran yelled. The person just smiled. "Who do you think I am? I'm exactly what you see" He said softly. Syaoran shook his head violently. "IIE!! Can't be! I'm Right Here, There can't be 2 me!" _

_"I'm you…I'm the person that you've kept in yourself for so long. Do you love Sakura?" He asked. Syaoran said, "h-h-hai…I mean iie…ahhhhhh", he said in frustration. The person smiled. "You Do….so if you really do…then why are you being so selfish?? Why are you locking away Sakura's happiness? If you really love her…. It shouldn't matter what she did, it shouldn't matter if she will be with you….it should matter if she's happy. Right now you don't have the right to say you love her. You don't have the right to say that at all, because if you DO love her you'd reach the highest level of love, whcih is to learn to let go……."._

_The person finished, and disappeared. _

            Syaoran woke up in a cold sweat. He breathed sharp breaths, and reflected on what the dream meant. _You Don't have the right to say you love her. You don't have the right to say that at all, because if you DO love her, the highest level of love, is to learn to let go. Let go….let go…let go… Syaoran kept thinking about it the whole night. _

To let go? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         Author's notes: wow I'm done…I know to some of you, it's short…I'm sorry about that, but I'm trying. I'll get the next chapter started after this. The last part of this chapter, in the dream Syaoran had, I'm sorry if it's a little confusing, if anyone doesn't understand, I'd be happy to explain. Plz review, and any comments is accepted. ^^

**_Japanese Translations:_**

Kaijuu: Monster

Gaki- Brat

Hoe- Sakura's made up expression

Ohayo- Good morning

Otou-san- father

Onii-chan -Older brother

Okaa-san- mother

Sayonara- Good Bye

Onaji- Same

Daijoubo desu ka- Are you ok?

Moshi Moshi- Hello, on the telephone, e.x Cantonese- Wai

Konnichiwa- Hi

Ano- Umm

Watashi- me/I

Gomen Nasai- So Sorry

Hai- Yes

Oyasumi-Good night

Iie-No


	6. Dunno wut to do

Chapter 6         **EVERYTHING FOR THE ONE THING**** I CAN'T**

**HAVE**

****

Author's Notes: Konnichiwa minna-san!! Sugoi..i'm actually starting this so soon..i'm usually very lazy, as you can see…^^ Well, I didn't get any complaints on my last chapter, tho I guess, when I re-read it myself, I did find a lotta constant ~~~~ borders/dividers always skipping scenes…but I dunno..i like to skip around, I hope this chapter will be good…..*hopes*

**__**

**_Legend:_**

_Italics- Thoughts of a character_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Scene Change/Divider

*author's notes* - Author's notes (my notes)

((….)) – Extra Info. 

**_Thank yous:_**

**Cardcaptor**** Sakura- Thankies!! I'm being a good gurl, typing this!! Lol…Plz R+R tis chapter too! ^^**

**SweetAznpnai4eva- lol..I LUV laughing evilly…*grins* but I look like a complete Baka while doing so…ehehe..^^" guess u jus learned sumthin bout me, IM WEIRD. Newayz, Arigato for the review, plz review tis chapter too!! '**

**FaNTaSy****- Hihi Meggie..hehe, u don't like that name do u? newayz, thankies, plz review..N YES IM UGLY, unlike u…*-***

**Small Lady- Arigato for the review, Plz review this too!! ^^**

**Angelic-Arigato..plz review this chapter!! ^^**

**Diana@Lineelu2001- Yes…Syaoran is my fav character, but for sum reason, I always make sad stuff bout him..i dunno I just go for angst, I dunno why…newayz, thankies, n plz review this too!!**

**~*~Evil Emzo~*~- Thankies so much!! I always really like ur reviews, * I like ALL my reviews too!!* newayz, plz review this too! N now I won't die!! *I'm typing this, cuz I want to live!!, j/k***

**SAKURA LOVER-  Yep, u did read this be4, But I'm so glad u reviewed! It's ok bout saying my chapter was short, cuz I guess, it can be short, compared to other stories, like my friend, Chibi Kawaii Tomoyo-Chan's chapters r like TEN pages!! @.@ o wel.. N as for the eyes, looking at nuthin through open eyes, well it sorta means, he's not really thinking about nething, he's jus sorta…blank..if u kno wut I mean.. sorry if its confusing! **

As for setting Syaoran up with Shiko, well I've surely thought of that, and maybe yes, maybe not, I won't really say it now, or it will ruin everything.Well, thankies, n plz review this too!! ^^

**Confused-Magenta- Thankies for the review, plz do review this chapter too!! ^^**

**AngelicPnai****- Ya, I understand why u'd think Windy's eyes has sumthin to do wit meiling, in fact nobody commented on that, so ur pretty observant..Datz a good thing! Well, thankies for the review, plz review this too!! ^^**

**SageSpirit****- Thankies, plz review this chapter too!! ^^**

**Aerisakura****- Thankies, n here's the next part, so plz review too!! ^^**

Author's notes: Okie dokie…well I surely hope everyone will enjoy this chapter like the last one, if there's anything that I could change in, feel free to let me kno, it's readers like you that makes me a better writer! ^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Syaoran wandered around the streets of Tomoeda, it was a school day, but he didn't care, he didn't feel like going to school. It's been weeks, he's tired of this all. He wasn't sure what the dream meant. To let go of what she did wrong, or to let go her to Tasaoran? Well, whatever it meant, he was sure it wasn't something easy to do, or sumthing he wanted to do neither. Broken promises are so painful, especially when he did his part, but she didn't. 

           Today, he felt like the day he'd felt, when he wandered around, almost killing himself, and…….meeting Shiko. He suddenly remembered about Shiko._ I wonder what's up with her now…. I want advice, I need advice now, I don't know what to do, maybe I should go and visit Shiko…but she's probably at school right now, *sighs* Syaoran thought. He was so tired of being alone, he was so tired of leaning on himself, he wanted to lean on somebody's shoulders for once, wanted to be comforted for once. He walked past a craft shop, and saw a Teddy bear making set. He leaned on the glass case, and peered in. It was a Light Brown coloured Teddy bear on the box. He didn't know why, but he went inside, and shoved his hands in his pocket, fetching for money. He found enough money, and Put it on the counter. He pointed at the teddy bear kit to the Clerk, and he bought it._

            He stared at it. It looked like the one he made for Sakura so many years ago, when he was so deeply in love, when everywhere seems to be heaven, whenever she's around. Now, it seems so painful just to look at her. A tear rolled onto his cheek. _Why does it have to be like this?? Ugggghhh He thought angrily. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              Sakura glanced nervously around her seat, not spotting Syaoran, she was worried. _Where could he be now?? She asked herself worriedly. Suddenly Tasaoran came into the class room, with a sad smile._

              "Tasaoran Jun, welcome back," the sensai greeted Tasaoran. Tasaoran bowed politely, and came up to his seat beside Sakura. He smiled at Sakura. 

              "You're back! Daijoubo desu ka?" Sakura whispered.

              "It's still rather upsetting, but I'll be ok, I missed," he whispered in her ear, sending chills down her back. She smiled weakly. Tasaoran kissed her hand lightly, and went to work. Sakura sighed heavily. She couldn't say she didn't love Tasaoran, because she does. But she definitely couldn't say she doesn't love Syaoran neither. She loved both of them, she knows it's not fair to them, and she wished she could make an answer, but she couldn't. They both meant so much to her, she couldn't possibly choose. Tasaoran didn't feel too well in the middle of class, so he had to go home, even though he didn't want to. *Author's notes: Don't worry, he's not evil and is not trying to harm Sakura or Syaoran*  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          Meiling hid behind the school. Meiling smiled evilly, and chanted something. Suddenly, a tornado appeared, it swirled towards the school. 

           Sakura suddenly looked around her, feeling a strong sense of magic, it was nothing she'd ever felt before, not like a clow card, it was an aura, but it didn't belong to anyone she knew. It was a red aura, it was strange, there was no evilness in it, yet it had such a tricky sensation. *author's notes: does dat make sense? I'm sorry if it doesn't*  She looked out the window. She froze in horror. There was a humongous tornado headed her way, with a strong aura within it. She looked around the classroom, there were tons of students, it could be dangerous, she got up, and got permission to the washroom. She transformed her wand, and released the sleep card. Everyone went to sleep. She expected the card was looking after her, so it shouldn't be harmful to the school, if she led it the other way. So she took out the fly card, and flew out of the school.

          "Who's out there, I can sense your red aura, WHO IS IT?!" Sakura yelled in the raging wind. The sky was grey, and the wind was blowing crazily. She could hardly see anything, with her hair blown all over her face. Meiling chanted something, to make the wind more powerful, she couldn't let Sakura concentrate and sense her, or her plans would be completely ruined. Meiling kept Sakura busy with the raging wind, while she concentrated, and talked to Syaoran telepathically. 

            "Little wolf…Little wolf..Little wolf," a meiling whispered in a different voice, the voices reaching Syaoran only. Syaoran looked around him and couldn't find anyone, he looked around, nobody seemed to have heard anything. 

            "Little wolf…Little wolf…If you want your little Card mistress not to die, better go find her now, or it'll be too late," she whispered hauntingly. 

              Syaoran looked around frantically, he quickly, took out his pendant, not caring if there was anyone looking at him or not, he called out his wind element, and carried himself to the school, the raging wind, blew against him, he could hardly stand still, he landed on the ground, but could hardly walk. He sensed the aura then, it felt so familiar to him, but he was too busy looking around, trying to find Sakura, he concentrated himself, even though it was so hard to, when the wind blew against him heavily. He couldn't live without her, he needed her, he was starting to be scared, he couldn't sense her aura, he couldn't find her aura. Then he finally located her aura, it was from the back of the school. He ran over, with difficulties, because the wind was blowing so massively. 

                When he finally managed to get around the corner to the back of the School, he saw something that made him so pained, yet felt so strange. Tasaoran was holding onto Sakura, to keep her from flying away since the wind was so strong, Sakura was shivering in the cold, and Tasaoran embraced her. She wanted to find where the aura was, but she couldn't leave his arms. 

                 "SAKURA!! AISHITERU!!" Tasaoran yelled in the loud background, Sakura looked at him painfully, and leaned her head on his shoulders. She felt so secure, she couldn't leave his arms. Tasaoran came back to the school because he'd forgotten something, and found Sakura in the raging winds. Meiling looked at her unbelievably, she chanted something in Chinese softly, and the wind and everything disappeared. Syaoran hid behind the wall, looking at the couple, with tears in his eyes. He shook his head violently, and leaned back on the wall. He turned around once more, and saw Sakura safely in Tasaoran's arms, smiling. Syaoran quickly ran away, He didn't see where he was headed, and bumped into someone. 

                 "Gomen Nasai," Syaoran bowed. He looked up to see a smiling Shiko. His eyes widened.

                 "It's ok Syaoran-kun," Shiko said cheerfully. She titled her head to the side, and glanced at Syaoran. She sighed.

                 "You don't look so good, what's wrong?" She asked lightly. He swallowed, and shook his head.

                 "Is it your Sakura you've told me so much about?" She asked. He nodded slowly. 

                 "You want to come over to my house and have a talk?" He asked quietly, he wanted to tell somebody about how he felt then, it was so painful, he was tired of being alone, he've had enough. Shiko shrugged, and followed him.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Syaoran got some tea to serve her, and they sat down. He explained everything that's happened, Shiko didn't make a comment, she didn't say what he did was right or wrong, or tell him what he should do or should've done. She just sat there, and listened to every word he said. He felt better after sharing with someone his problems, but it didn't give him a solution. Syaoran finished, and waited for Shiko to comment. She just sipped on her tea, and smiled casually.

           "Don't look at things so complicated sometimes, just look at it the simple way. Listen to your heart, listen to yourself," She said, and did not say more. He didn't understand what she really meant, but he felt better. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            The next day, Syaoran showed up at school, and pretended nothing happened the day before, he went on with his usual behavior. Meiling stayed at home, because she wasn't staying that long, and she decided she'd rather stay home. 

            Sakura walked through the hallways at lunch, and she accidentally dropped her books, as she bent down to collect her books, a slender hand reached for her book, and passed it to her. Sakura looked up, and saw a smiling girl, with Dark brown hair, and kind grayish blue eyes. 

             "Arigato…ano..what's your name?" Sakura asked, after she bowed politely.

             "I'm Shiko Kio, and you are Sakura Kinomoto?" She said kindly. Sakura looked surprised.

             "Hai…how'd you know my name?" She asked.

             "Oh..lucky guess," She said smiling. Sakura smiled back. They walked out to the field outside of the school. They found similarities in each other, and they made friends quickly. Sakura could've never guessed Shiko knew Syaoran.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Notes: Oh…Gomen Nasai if this was too short!! Sorry for the lack of S&S, ehe..don't kill me!!! Hmm..I don't think I've ever updated so fast!! Well..newayz, plz feel free to comment however u want, PLZ PLZ PLZ REVIEW!!!! *sobs* I beeegggg u…REVIEW!!!!! If you got ne kind of comments, if you want to point out my mistakes, plz do so, I'd be glad to change it. *bows* Ja Ne!

**_Japanese Translations:_**

Sakura Kinomoto- Sakura Avalon

Li Syaoran – Li Showron

Tomoyo Daidouji – Madison Taylor

Daijoubo desu ka? – Are you Ok?

Ano- Umm.

Sensai – Teacher 

Gomen Nasai- So sorry

Aishiteru- I love you * tho I've seen lots of other forms, I'm not too sure if this is correct*

Minna-san - Everyone


	7. BloodRed Eyes

Chapter 7                 **Everything For The One Thing I can't Have  
  
Author's Notes: Konnichiwa minna-san!! Was it really THAT long since I updated?..^^' cuz Evil Emzo has been complaining. *rubs my head* owwieee…arigato for ur whack! Lol. Newayz…I usually get pretty lost when its time to update. But I always finish typing my chapter in a day, or two if I started late. Unfortunately, my mom limited my time on the computer to 1 and a half hour on weekends, n 1 hour in weekdays. *sighs* it'll take me a much longer time to get this finished that way. ****It's a little PG-13 at the near end of the story for horror, and blood graphic scenes. I hope minna-san will enjoy this chapter!!  
  
****_Legend:  
__Italics – Thoughts of a character.  
~~~~~~~ - Scene Changes/divider.  
*author's notes* - author's notes/my notes.  
((….)) – Extra Info._**

**_Thank you's-_**

**Evil Emzo (kero, princess apathy)-oks like sumbody's hyper! Am I glad that wasn't suppi, after he ate packets of sugar. Newayz, Thank you, for all your reviews, and yes I will update, I hope u'll enjoy this chapter ^-^**

**FaNTaSy – Hihi meggie-chan! Thank you so much for ur review, lol…My bro was supposed to help me set up my mic, but it doesn't work!! *sniff sniff* o well…I'll make him get me a new one..muahaha. **

**Fabi****-Chan- ^-^ thank you for ur review, as for if it'll be S+S…*evil grin* u've got to find out! **

**butterfly_grl4- nope! Don't worry, Shiko wasn't trying to Seduce Syaoran.**

**~*~blue angel 101~*~ - *smiles* thank you, and here's the next chapter!**

**GG- I'm glad u liked my story! ^-^ I hope this chapter will be satisfying enough!**

**Diana@Lineelu2001- I'm sorry, did I forget to include the story link last time? If I did, gomen nasai! well newayz, thnx!**

**Aerisakura- ^-^ thnx~**

**Azalea- ^-^ thnx, here's the next chapter, hope u'll enjoy**

**MingShao- …hmm I think I didn't add u on my Thank you's list last time, cuz I got ur review after I finished typing, but newayz, thnx! *sighs* skule…I hate going to skule, especially when I got all those weird teachers. @.@**

**Jen (punkrockchick@magicgirl.com)- Thnx! Here's the next chapter, hope u'll like it!**

Author's notes:…*counts* hmm…11 ppl reviewed this time! I kno I don't get too much reviews, but I'm pretty happy already…n once again, Thank you everybody who reviewed, and I'm glad I didn't get any flames this time. But remember, always feel free to point out my mistakes, criticize if u please. I'm sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, I'm not the best English writer in the world, in fact I'm pretty stupid,…so…ehehe…^^'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 Syaoran was heading to school. It has been 3 days since, he last talked to Sakura. He questioned himself over, and over again, about why he should stay. That dream he had last time, kept jumping back into his brain. He couldn't get it out of his head. As he turned around the corner in the hall, he saw Tasaoran and Sakura holding hands walking down the stairs. Syaoran couldn't help, but notice the smile placed on Sakura's lips…The smile that had once only showed for him, and him alone. There was no anger left in Syaoran, because he was tired of being angry, and he couldn't be angry when he saw Sakura's genki expression on her angelic face. His heart seemed to have turned into stone, but it wasn't. Every touch of pain was sensed by him, and tears couldn't help, but flow down his rough skin. He didn't realize he had 5 minutes before the bell rang, and he hadn't gotten his books out yet.   
                  "WAI!!" Meiling tapped on Syaoran's shoulder. Syaoran jumped, and snapped back into reality.   
                  "Meiling, what are you doing here? I thought you said you were going to stay home," Syaoran asked tiredly. Meiling pouted.  
                  "Well I'm bored, and I want to see how my favorite cousin is doing with his chibi ying fa," Meiling said, with a w ink. Syaoran's cheeks grew red.   
                  " I'm going to be late, Ja ne," he waved, and ran to his class.   
  


                  "Mr.Li, you're late, please take your seat, and never let this happen again," the sensai said strictly. Syaoran walked back to his seat, annoyed. Sakura side-glanced Syaoran in curiosity. He was always punctual, but today he was late. Syaoran stared at the back of Sakura's head, and tears welled up in his eyes again, but he fought his tears, and refused to let it fall. He was strong, and he shouldn't let weakness show.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                   After school, Sakura bumped into Syaoran in the hallway. Sakura bit her lip nervously, and asked to talk to him for a few minutes.   
                   "…What is it, kinomoto-san?" Syaoran asked, as if she was a stranger. Sakura winced at the sound of the unfamiliar name "kinomoto-san".   
                   "Li-kun….I'm still very confused about my feelings, and please understand, that I'm really sorry," Sakura said quietly.  
                   "…do I have a place in your heart…Sakura?" Syaoran said, sounding hopeful, as his anger disappears a little.  
                   "I don't know…. I haven't seen you in such a long time, I don't know." She said.   
                   "Are you happy being with me?" he asked.  
                   "I…."  
                   "Are you happy with him?" he asked.  
                   "hai…"  
                   "Then there's the answer," he said angrily, and ran away. Sakura stood in the middle of the hall, looking down.   
 _What did I just do?! Sakura screamed to herself in her head. Images of Tasaoran embracing her tightly appeared in her mind. Images of Syaoran smiling to her flashed in her mind. She looked up again, and saw Shiko coming up the stairs.   
                    "Konnichiwa Shiko-Chan!" Sakura smiled weakly. Shiko looked up, and waved cheerfully.   
                    "Konnichiwa Sakura-Chan," she replied. They walked out to the park, and Sakura suddenly popped a question out of nowhere.  
                    "Who ****__are you?" she asked. Shiko looked at Sakura strangely.  
                    "Who am I? I'm Shiko Kio, you already know that," She said confusedly. Sakura blushed in embarrassment.  
                    "Gomen Nasai, I didn't know where that came from, it's just that sometimes you're so mysterious, but you seem to know everything, as if you've known me for a lifetime," Sakura explained. Shiko chuckled. _

                    " I'm just a person that likes to make friends…perhaps because I feel surprisingly attached to you, it feels like what I did before too," Shiko said. For the first time, she looked down in regret and depression. Sakura blinked.  
                    "You mean, my situation with Syaoran?" Sakura asked. She had talked to Shiko about Syaoran before. Shiko shrugged carelessly. She smiled sadly at Sakura. _I know more about you, than you can guess... Shiko thought, not especially intended for Sakura to hear, but for some reason, Sakura looked around curiously. __What was that voice?I could've swore I heard something! Sakura thought.   
                     "What's the matter?" Shiko asked confusedly.  
                     "N-nothing…I think I should go now, Oni-chan will get angry I'm late again," Sakura said, and went home. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                    Syaoran was at his desk finishing up his homework, but suddenly….. "AHHHHHHH" 

                    "Kaijuu, I left something at the office, I need it for tomorrow, so I'm going now, Otou-san's coming back tonight later," Touya told Sakura that night. Sakura rolled her eyes.  
                      "I'm not a little girl, I can take care of myself," Sakura complained, and Touya muttered "kaijuu" on his way out. Sakura held up her fist angrily. She went to her room, and plopped down on her bed tiredly. Suddenly the door bell rang. _Oni__-Chan must have forgotten something again. She went downstairs. Suddenly, she sensed a strange aura. She looked around a bit panicked. She opened the door.   
                     "Oni-….Li-Kun! What are you doing here at this time?" Sakura asked. Her eyes widened, as she saw a sword wound on his chest, and blood dripping on the floor. He leaned on the door, and coughed. Sakura quickly brought him upstairs to the living room. She called for Kero, but there was no answer. __That's Strange…where's kero? But she had no time to think. She ran to get a wet towel, and soaked up some blood. She panicked, and ran for the phone. She took up the phone, but it had no dialing tone. She looked at the phone in her hands. __What's going on?! She thought, scared. __If I don't call for help now, Shaoran-kun will die! She thought scared. She turned around. Her mouth fell open. The blood was gone, and the sword wound disappeared. She backed away slowly, in horror, she glanced at Syaoran. He stood up and his hair covered his face. He walked closer to her. Sakura trembled.  
                      "Sh-sh-sh-Shaoran….what are you doing?" Sakura quivered. Suddenly he reached behind him, and pulled out his sword. _

                      "You…you hurt me, you broke my heart, and lied to me. You will pay." He said, edging closer to her step by step.   
                      "…Shaoran-kun…" she trembled more. Her hand grabbed her key around her neck. She released her wand. She took out her sword card. She shook her head.  
                      "Shaoran..onegaii don't do this," she said. He didn't listen, he kept walking towards her.  He looked up, and his eyes snapped open…they were blood-red coloured. He flung his sword to her, Sakura blocked it using her sword. His strength was surprisingly strong. Sakura's strength suddenly became no match to his. He swung his sword furiously. Finally, Sakura was cornered. 

                       "KERO-CHAN!!!" Sakura screamed, but there was no respond. She was too weak, and she collapse to the ground. She looked up at Syaoran's blood-red eyes. A red aura surrounded him. Sakura hugged her knees close to her chest. Syaoran was about to slice into Sakura's flesh, when he started to tremble. Sakura looked up. Syaoran was trembling, and he seemed to be struggling with something. He held his head in his hands, and he started to shout. 

                       " I WILL NOT LET YOU HARM SAKURA" he screamed at himself. Sakura looked confused. What was going on?! Syaoran seemed to be trying to break through something. The red aura had gotten into Syaoran, and it took over him. The strength he had before, hadn't belonged to the red aura though, it was the strength released from his anger. Syaoran wasn't going to kill Sakura with his own hands, he struggled to get control. But it was too strong. He couldn't get out of it's control. He got one glance of Sakura in his warm amber eyes, before it turned to blood-red again. Sakura had tears streamed down her face. Syaoran grew angry that this force used him to hurt Sakura. He was angry Sakura was hurt. But he was helpless. So he took all his strength, to get a little control, he took his sword up. It wasn't aimed at Sakura…it was aimed at himself. _If I can't recover my control, I'll kill this body….Sakura…I won't let anything hurt you…aishiteru._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

 Author's Notes: Hoooeee…. I scared myself typing the last few paragraphs. Newayz…Gomen nasai if it was a little too short!! I'll try to make the next chapter longer.. Plz remember to review!! Ja ne!  
P.S : **_IF YOU  WOULD LIKE ME TO EMAIL YOU WHEN I UPDATE, PLZ TELL ME IN YOUR REVIEW. Arigato._**

**_Japanese Translations:_**

Chibi – Little/Small  
Sensai – Teacher  
Gomen Nasai – So Sorry  
Kaijuu – Monster   
Onegaii – Please  
Otou-san – Father  
Oni-chan – Older Brother  
Minna-san – Everyone  
Ja ne – Later/see you later


	8. Wound of the heart

Chapter 8           **_Everything For The One Thing I Can't Have_**

Author's Notes: HIYA!!...how long has it been since I updated? I duno….well I'll start n type my butt off….i hafent been very happy these days, depressed bou life, friends, love….but I'm feeling better now, so I'm going start working on this…..well it's not like anyone carez, but ya….=S…Plz Review!

**Legend:**

_Italics- A Character's thoughts_

~~~~~- Scene Changers/dividers

*author's notes*- author's notes/my notes

((…)) – Extra Info 

**_Thank You's List:_**

**Kotsch- ….You don't know how much this means to me!! You're one of my favorite authors!! *-* n u reviewed my ficcie! Me so happy! *smilez* YAY! Anywayz…really really thank you for your reviewed!!...you prob wont, but if u do read tis chappie, plz review!**

**Anime Bear- Thankies, plz review this too!**

**Tsuki- Thanks a lot! ^-^ **

**Evil Emzo and Suppi-chan- thankies for ur review!...your stories are really really good!!! O , n btw, I sent u an email on lil_cherrybloosom_angel@hotmail.com, which was on ur review..but I didn't get a reply from u,  is da email address wrong? @.@....well, newayz, plz review!!**

**Cutie Blossom-  I duno if he's gonna kill himself…do I look like Syaoran to u? J/K…lol..i duno read it n find out! N Thankies for ur review so much!**

**Yuki-chan- la la la….Sakura has Tasaoran-kun, why worry? Just kidding…thankies for ur review!**

**FaNTaSy- MEGGIE-CHAN!! Hiya…come n visit me n ter^-^…heeh, I'll give u a free map…LOL…newayz..i duno….my bro hasn't fixed it yet…if I poke him, I'll get beat up, den I won't be able to type again…lol, *he's scary* newayz…thankies, cya~**

**Cherry li (mae91@diaryland.com)- thankies a lottie! **

**Setsu- I'll try…but I don't make really long chapters, I don't get enough ideas…I hope it's ok…newayz, thanks for reviewing**

**Aerisakura**** and Smashfriends- hehe…thankies for da review!**

**Kawaii**** Tomoyo-Daidouji- hiya ter! La la la….*listening to F4, and Jay chou* la la ….LETS GO TO PACIFIC MALL AND BUY LOTSA STUFFIES!!!! *goes hyper* memba? Couples! La la la…lol…newayz, thankies, buhbi~**

**Milgi****(****milgi5@hotmail.com)- Hiya!...well…you neva kno wut happens…oohh..i suddenly got a great idea to end this story…lol…newayz, thankies for ur review!**

**Jen (punkrockchick@magicgirl.com)- hiya! Thankies for ur review ^-^**

Authors' notes:…la la….huh? o… newayz…I duno, I suck, n dis mite suck too….so I apologize now, if derz ne mistakes or nonsense in da story..plz do forgive me, and any critizes are welcomed. ^-^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                      Syaoran closed his eyes shut, and his sword came down to his heart.

 Ruby red eyes opened wide in surprise. _I knew he loved her….but he's so serious… she was going to let go of the spell, but she suddenly lost her balance in her hiding place, and slipped. She rubbed her back.__ Owww…. She looked up instantly when she realized he was still in the spell…__oh NO…she panicked. The sword jabbed into his flesh. She immediately took off the spell. She bit her lip hard. __ What have I done?! _

                      "SHAORAN-KUN!!!!" Sakura screamed. Syaoran suddenly opened his eyes, and realized he has control again…he dropped his sword to the ground, and he fell to his knees. His chest was bleeding, the cut hasn't reached to the heart, but he was loosing blood. Sakura ran to him, and held him. His eyelids fluttered open and shut. He was loosing consciousness. 

                      "You can't leave me…don't…" Sakura begged, and tears fell down her cheeks, and touched his cheeks, his head was on her lap, and he laid there bleeding. Sakura sobbed. She opened her mouth to say the words Syaoran's ever desired to hear. **I Love You. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She couldn't make out a sound. Syaoran looked into her emerald eyes, _Sakura….can I hear those words? I can die happy….peacefully knowing you do……his heart pleaded. He winced in pain, as blood oozed out of his wound. Sakura wanted to say those words….but she couldn't. Syaoran looked at her in pain…he gritted his teeth. Sakura opened her mouth to say sumthin, Syaoran slowly lifted his trembling finger to her lip, telling her not to say anything. _**

                      "If you don't love me, It's ok…..I hope Tasaoran takes good care of you,…..I…Love …You, Sakura-chan" He forced those words out of his mouth, and he fell unconscious. Sakura hugged him close. She shook in fear. The Ambulance came, and took Syaoran to the Hospital. Sakura didn't call the ambulance, so she wondered how they knew. 

                     "Syaoran…onegaii be ok, I didn't mean for this to happen," Meiling whispered. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         RIIING RIING

         "Moshimoshi, Tomoyo speaking," Tomoyo said into the phone.

         "Tomoyo-Chan? It's Sakura-chan…." Sakura said.

         "Hiya…what's wrong?" Tomoyo asked, hearing by the tone of Sakura's voice, something was wrong.

         "It's…It's…Shaoran-kun…" Sakura said

         "nani?" Tomoyo asked.

         "It's too long to explain here..he's in the hospital, Tomoeda Hospital," Sakura said

         "I'll be right there," Tomoyo said.

         "And tell Eriol-kun and Meiling-chan, ja" Sakura said, still shaken, she hung up. Tomoyo frowned.

         "…Eriol-kun?" Tomoyo said into the phone after she dialed his number.

         "Konnichiwa Tomoyo-Chan," Eriol said sweetly and politely.

         "..Sakura-chan just called, she said Li-kun's in the hospital, she didn't say any other details, I'm going right now," Tomoyo said. Eriol Frowned.

         "well…ja I got to tell Meiling" Tomoyo hung up.

*author's notes: aww…so tired of writing phone convos! O well….* 

      "wai" Meiling said into the phone. 

      "MEiling –chan!!! Li-kun's in the hospital!!" Tomoyo said worriedly.

      "Yah…I know.." Meiling said, a bit ashamed.

      "…Meiling-chan…is this part of your 'plan'" Tomoyo asked. 

      "I didn't mean for him to be hurt, but he's strong, he'll be fine," Meiling said a little scared herself. Tomoyo nodded..

      "I hope so…well ja" Tomoyo said, and hung up.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Sakura sat beside Syaoran's bed. Tears streamed down her face. Meiling went to get some water for them, as Tomoyo and Eriol ran into the room. 

        "Sakura-Chan..what happened?!" Tomoyo asked worriedly. Sakura slowly explained everything. Syaoran didn't die, but he was really weak, and he had to stay in the hospital for a period of time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          A slender hand placed flowers beside Syaoran's bed. She smiled, and went to open the windows. Syaoran hadn't woken up from last time yet. The sunlight hit his face, and his eyes fluttered. He slowly opened his eyes.

          "S-Shiko-chan…" he said weakly. Shiko smiled.

          "I heard from kinomoto-san that you came to the hospital, how are you feeling?" shiko asked. Syaoran sighed..he wanted to see Sakura the first thing, but she wasn't there. _I guess….this proves it..she really doesn't love me… He sat up slowly._

          "so, how are you feeling?" Shiko asked.

          "I'm fine…" Syaoran said bitterly. She didn't ask him about how he got hurt, so he didn't mention it. 

          "Well…I got to go, when you come out, we can find some time and have a drink or something…." Shiko said with a smile. *author's notes: it's not as in a DATE, It's jus normal friends going out..ok? ok..* Syaoran tried to smile, but couldn't. 

          "I thought you got hurt, but I didn't know it hurts when you smile," she said with a chuckle. He forced a tiny smile on his lips. She waved good bye, and she went out. 

            Syaoran's eyes slowly fell closed, and he went to sleep. He tossed and turned. A Hand with the softest skin he's ever felt, it slowly cupped his cheek. Syaoran's eyes opened, and saw Sakura. Sakura quickly took her hand back, and smiled embarrassed.

           "K-konnichiwa Shaoran-kun," she said, blushing all kinds of red. 

           "Konnichiwa Sakura-san," he said. 

           "…I don't know what to say, because…." Sakura stammered.

          "because….there's nothing for you to say. If you want to thank me for what happened, then your welcomed, if you're not, there's nothing you need to say," he snapped. Sakura winced at his tone. 

           "Shaoran…I just wanted to say, that you're one of the friend I'll never forget, I didn't know you can give away so much for me," she said, and leaned forward to give him a hug. His hand laid on his side, he didn't return her hug. He looked into her eyes. _She…didn't know? I LOVE her, and…..i'm her FRIEND? He yelled at himself inside. __I'M SO STUPID….. those words stung him bad. He had wanted to see her so much, to see her angelic face, and her cheerful self, the smile that was brighter than the stars in the sky. But now he didn't want to see her face, everytime he looks at her, into her eyes, he drowns into the pool of emerald pain. He's afraid he'll burst in front of her._

            "I'm tired…I'm going to sleep now," he said, and he turned to the other side. Sakura smiled weakly.

            "…ano..ok.." she said, and turned to the door. When she got to the door, she turned around again. A tear rolled down his cheek, as he tried so hard to forget her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Week Later:

        Shiko and Syaoran came to the same restaurant they went the first time they met. Syaoran remembered the stupid things he did, and couldn't help but mentally whack himself. 

       "so, how's it been?" Shiko asked. Syaoran shrugged. 

       "nothing…'cept that I'm sick of the hospital beds, and the big fat nurses," he said, disgust in his expression. Shiko laughed.

Meanwhile:

        "Kaijuu, go get the stuff for dinner tonight," Touya said to Sakura. Sakura turned red in anger. She held her fist up.

        "I AM NOT A KAIJUU!!!!" She screamed, and stomped on his foot hard. 

        "OWWW" Touya yelled, grabbing his food. Sakura went out the door, to the store.

         "…Aww it's closed today…well where am I going to get the groceries now? Oh, I think I remember a store at the other side," Sakura said. She roller skated to the other side, which she doesn't always go to.

         After she finished her groceries, she was skating back home, but she past by a restaurant on the way. She accidentally dropped a can, she stopped to pick up, as she looked up…..she saw inside the restaurant….

A table….with …Shiko….and……..**_Syaoran_****_._**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Notes: hiya! Soo..how was this chapter? Is it too short? I'm SO SORRY If it's too SHORT, but well….ok, if it is then I'll really hafta try harder next time. =P newayz, PLZ REVIEW!!! And same thing for readers. **_IF YOU WANT ME TO EMAIL YOU WHEN I UPDATE, PLZ TELL ME IN YOUR REVIEW! Okie dokie, SEE YA!!!_**


	9. denied answer

Chapter 9              **_Everything For The One Thing I Can't Have_**

Author's notes: KONNICHIWA MINNA-SAN!!! ..^-^ ff.net is still down while I'm typing this, but datz ok, I'll post it up when ff.net is up. I am Really Really happy because I got my FIRST 100th review!! ^-^ thanx for all those who reviewed, I'm really happy. *evil emzo, my 100th reviewer! Lol..* 

**_Legend:_**

_Italics- Thoughts of a character_

*author's notes* - author's notes/my notes

((…..)) – Extra info 

"….." – Dialogue 

~~~~~~ - Scene changer/ divider

**_Thank you's: _**

**Miss scary girl- Hi meggie-chan! Thnx for ur ….LONG review, lol, yah, im mean I like to torture Sakura, hahah, jk jk, lol, newayz, cyaz**

**Delita**** Mukara Renofetear – Thnx for ur review! I hope u'll like tis chapter too!**

**Sana****-kun- I'm glad you like my story ^-^ thnx a lot for ur review!**

**Jeah****- no prob, and thnx! ^^**

**Cherrywolf****- Sakura-chan's bf was snoozing while she was getting killed, lol, jk, i just wanted to create some S&S stuff, so her bf wouldn't fit too well in here, lol. **

**Evil Emzo – HIYA!! Yay, ur my 100th reviewer! Even tho u reviewed 4 times for this chapter…lol, thnx! ..*sniff* I never see u online on msn!!!!!!!**

**Jen- thnx for reviewing! I hope u like tis chapter**

**TomoyoTeng****- heya, lol, those pix were so weird!!!!! Wel…da ones I was in newayz, lol, cuz im so ugly, haha,…Kel wanna grow her hair as long as it is in da beginning of school…**

**Emerald Pearls- I luv ur story so much!! When r YOU going to update it?? Lol…thnx for ur review, I'm going to continue it don't worry, so u don hafta strangle me now…I wanna live too yak no…**

**Qtpie****- thnx!! I continue it now…lol**

**Tsuki****- sowwy,..it was too short, I hope tis is ok, if its not, I'll make the next chapter longer..**

**Okihs****-well now u'll kno wut she feels, ^^ thnx for ur review!**

**Devilblossomgrl****- thnx! Heres da next chappie…^^**

**Aeirsakura**** and Smashfriends- thnx so much!! I hope u'll enjoy this chappie too…^^**

**Sahmandah****- Fank u lotsies! Lol…datz my language, im weird as u can tell…newayz, I hope u like tis chappie too^^**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Sakura lifted her head, and saw Shiko and Syaoran sitting at the table. Sakura was shocked, she wasn't even aware that Shiko KNEW Syaoran, she felt really weird. It wasn't anger, it wasn't jealousy, but it didn't feel good. Syaoran wasn't her boyfriend, she couldn't be jealous, but Shiko hadn't told her she knew him, but then again, she never said she didn't. Sakura shook her head, and picked up the can. She skated home as fast as she could. Images of Shiko and Syaoran, laughing, smiling, talking, still floods her mind, and she's not sure of what to think or what to do.

            "I'm home!" Sakura shouted, as she came into the house. 

            "Start dinner, I'm starving, kaijuu" Touya complained. Sakura just ignored him, and went into the kitchen to start dinner.

            _That's strange…Sakura always get angry every time I call her Kaijuu, but she just ignored me….Touya thought._

            "Erm…is there something wrong?" Touya asked in a low voice, feeling very embarrassed to show care for his sister.

            "hm..nothing, I'm just really tired, and I'm hungry, I'll finish dinner soon," Sakura said. Touya shrugged and went out the kitchen. 

            That night, Sakura wondered how the next day would be. How would she face Syaoran? Would she just pretend it never happened, or should she say something about it? She didn't have an answer to her questions. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Sakura, you're going to be late for school, if you don't wake up now!!!!" A loud voice interrupted Sakura from her sleep. She turned around, and her eyelids slowly fluttered open. 

            "OK OK..kero-chan, you don't need to yell at me" Sakura yawned. Kero sweat dropped.

            "You're so lazy, you're going to be late!!! School starts in 15 minutes!!!" Kero said. Sakura's eyes flung open. 

            "KERO!!! WHY DIDN"T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER?!?!" Sakura yelled, and rushed to get dressed. 

            "…I Did…you just didn't listen." Kero said, and turned to his video games with a 'hmph'. 

            "Ohayo Otou-san, oni-chan!" Sakura greeted on her way down, and grabbed her breakfast, she quickly put on her skates and left. Fujitaka shook his head.

            " The usual Sakura…can't you be ON time for once?" Fujitaka said with a smile. Sakura sweat dropped. 

            "er..hehe…Ja!" Sakura said, and left. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Ohayo Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura smiled. She turned around and saw Syaoran. Her smile slowly faded, as memories enter her head once more. She turned around, and decided not to greet him for some reason, she didn't think she was jealous, but maybe some part of her was. Tasaoran smiled as he came into the room, he wrapped his arms around Sakura's waist and kissed her on the cheek. Sakura blushed. Tomoyo smiled, she turned around to see Syaoran, whom seemed to be very concentrated on his work. 

          "Ohayo Li-Kun.." Tomoyo smiled. Syaoran looked up, and greeted her with a slight nod. Syaoran looked at Sakura, he couldn't find a way to take his eyes off of her, but as his eyes wandered, and met her eyes, She quickly looked away, into Tasaoran's eyes instead. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         "Sakura-chan!" Shiko called, as she saw her at lunch. Sakura slightly smiled, and looked away. Shiko looked puzzled.

         "Is there something wrong?" She asked. Sakura shook her head quickly, and forced a smile..a fake smile. Shiko tilted her head to a side.

         "I…never mind" Sakura said…she wanted to ask her about yesterday, but she decided not to. 

         "Want to get a drink after school today?" Shiko asked cheerfully.

         "hmm….don't you have to go with Syaoran," Sakura said unconsciously. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand.

         "Oh.. um, never mind," Sakura said quickly, not believing she actually said that.

         "Sakura-chan…did you see me and Li-Kun yesterday?" Shiko asked. Sakura nodded a bit.

         "gomen Nasai I never told you I knew him, I met him actually quite some time ago, before I met you, but I never told you, and don't worry, I don't like Li-kun, he's just my friend" Shiko said with a chuckle. Sakura's cheeks turned bright red.

         "Um…it's ok, um why would I mind if you like Li-Kun, it's none of my business, I'll have to congratulate you if you guys are together," Sakura said quickly. Shiko smiled.

        "Whatever you like to say, and I am, terribly sorry I didn't tell you, I hope you can forgive me" Shiko said. 

        "no, it's ok, I just wondered why you didn't tell me, that's all, it's ok I forgive you," Sakura said. She was never really angry at Shiko, she felt a tinge of betrayal, but she'd forgotten already, and she felt painful, but she wasn't sure anymore. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         "Sakura-chan, I have to go, ja ne!" Tasaoran called to Sakura after school, he hugged her and kissed her lightly on the lips. Syaoran passed by them and avoided them. Sakura followed him with her eyes as he packed his bag, and headed out the door. She packed her bag, and headed out the door behind him. 

         Syaoran was in front of Sakura, as they walked home on the same road, Suddenly something from her back pack fell out, and she went to grab it, as somebody with a bike was riding really fast, and was about to crash into her, but Syaoran pulled her out of the way. Sakura brushed the dirt off her dress, and she looked up to face a pair of deep amber eyes. 

         "….daijoubo desu ka?" He asked embarrassingly. She nodded. 

         "…Kinomoto-san…I have something to ask you…" He said. Sakura nodded.

         "um…go ahead," she said.

         "…you know my feelings for you, but you still haven't answered my question…do you still love me?" He asked her bluntly. She put her hand to her forehead, and was really frustrated. 

         "…I don't know, I really don't know," she said. He didn't look satisfied with her answer

         "I've been very patient with this already, haven't you had enough time to think?!...Oh yah, I forgot, You have a boy friend, that doesn't even know you knew me before," he snapped. Sakura got angry. 

         "Me?! Look who's talking!...you're the one who went out with Shiko that I wasn't even aware of," She said. 

         "I just went out to eat with her as a friend," He said, gritting his teeth.

         "O right, if you're going out, why can't I spend some time with my BOY FRIEND," she yelled. Syaoran couldn't believe this.

         "…you know what? Forget it, I'm not going to stand here and listen to this," He said, and he ran away, with a pain in his heart. Sakura stood there in shock, and confusion. She had a headache and she didn't know what she had done. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        "Meiling…things aren't getting any better, and nothing's changed…I don't know if this is working!!" Tomoyo said worriedly to Meiling on the phone. 

        "I didn't think it would be so complicated, but I think some how inside my beloved cousin's heart, he's found an answer, but he's refusing to believe it, I know he loves Sakura, but I know Sakura is very confused," Meiling said. 

        "I think they need some time of peace and quiet, and figure things out, this is the best we can do for them," Tomoyo nodded, and looked away sadly. 

        _Syaoran's__ eyelids fluttered open, and to find himself surrounded by light. He looked confusedly around him, and a voice said, "Syaoran, Let me take you to a guided tour," Syaoran frowned, and he was really confused, _

_                "Where am i??" He asked. _

_               "….you don't need to know that," the voice said softly, and suddenly Syaoran entered an image. In front of him, he saw Sakura and Tasaoran cutting a white layered cake. Sakura was in a beautiful white silky dress, with layers, and a white soft veil was over her long auburn hair. The smile on her face was big, and Syaoran don't remember seeing her ever this happy before. She kissed Tasaoran, and the happiness on them was priceless, Syaoran's eyes watered, he thought anger and jealousy would take over him, but instead, he found peace, and a smile creeping on his mouth. Then the image vanished, and he entered another image of Sakura. She was in the same beautiful dress, but the one beside her wasn't Tasaoran, it was Syaoran. The smile on Syaoran's lips disappeared, as he saw that lovely smile on her face was no longer there, and a frown instead. _

              Suddenly it disappeared, and Syaoran sat up in his bed. It was a dream. He couldn't understand. How could he feel happy when Sakura was with Tasaoran, but painful to see her with Him??...then he realized. It was that smile on her face and that frown on her tear stained face. Suddenly, he remembered his other dream…_To let go.. He understood now, He would rather let her be happy , even if she's with somebody else, rather than be with him but not be happy. A smile of peace curved on his lips. He realized it now. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             RRRRIIINNNGGG RIIINGGGG The phone rang in Sakura's house. Sakura was in the shower. She didn't hear it, and nobody else was home. 

             Syaoran waited until the message came on. 

            "you have reached the Kinomoto's residence, but we are currently busy, plz leave a msg after the beep, and we will call you back as soon as possible" Syaoran took a deep breath.

           "Sakura….I'm Syaoran, I want to apologize for my behavior today, but…I'm still waiting for my answer, Sakura-chan, if your answer is NO,but it's what's true and it's what you feel, if you really are happy with Tasaoran, and he is what gives you that smile that will keep you going no matter how hard times are, then I want to be happy for you. I don't want to be selfish and keep you by my side if that's not what your heart desires. I hope you find your answer, and I hope it will be something you will not live to regret, and what is true and what will bring you a real smile. I'd rather see your smile, than you by my side unwillingly, call me back if you can………….ja," Syaoran said, and put the phone down. 

          Sakura came out of the washroom, and she saw that there was a message on her answering machine, she pressed the button, and she heard Syaoran's Message. She replayed it again and again. She was surprised..and she wasn't sure what to do. 

           Syaoran knows deep inside, no matter what her answer is, he'll still love her for the rest of his life without a doubt, but because he loves her, he wants to see her smile. He stared at the small piece of paper underneath his homework on his desk, he closed his eyes hoping this is the right thing to do…..he hopes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Author's notes: heya!!...anybody wana guess what is dat 'small piece of hard paper" hmm? Heh….i hope this chapter was ok, if anything confusing or whatever, or if you have comments, criticisms, or simply wanna talk to me, send me an email to tenshi_itsumademo22@hotmail.com thank you! N PLZ REMEMBER TO REVIEW~!!!!!!! N leave ur email if u want me to email u wen I update. ^-^  JA NE!!!


	10. Sayonara

Chapter 10                   **_Everything For The One Thing I Can't Have_**

Author's notes: HALO EVERYONE!! *Smiles* me smiling cuz of da best show in dis whole world. METEOR GARDEN…mwahaha…nebody kno it? If u don, *only if u kno Chinese(mandarin)* u shuld see it…so good. ^^ ok, newayz, im done babbling n bein stupid, as u can see. *clears throat* ok….heh…^^' ok…ppl really fink im weird now…yieks…btw…nebody wanna chat wit me, can always send me an email or talk wit me on aol, yahoo, icq, or msn.! 

….n…btw…..VIC IS KUTE!!!!!!! Alrite….ppl don wanna hear me talk bou vic, hmph, jus like TomoyoTeng, hmph. Ok…..im done…..here's chappie. 

**_Legend: _**

_Italics- The thoughts of a character_

*author's notes*- My notes, sumfin I hafta say

((….)) – extra info

"….."- Dialogue between characters

~~~~- Scene change/ Divider.

**_Thank you's: _**

**Lilyflower****- fnx a lot! I hope u'll like tis chappie too. ^^**

**Evil Emzo- -_-" don be too sure it's a luv letter…cuz u mite get disappointed. O.O *finks to self: Uh oH….did I jus gav evil emzo a hint?* ….o welz….fnx velly much. Ur gonna get ur 100th review soon ^^ btw…dicha update ne of ur fics lately? *narrows eyes* ok….fink I said enuf. -_-" *im getting more weird everyday, sighs***

**BoUnCy**** Bunny- ^^ fnx…I hope ya like tis chappie too bouncy bunny ^^**

**Miss Forgotten- sorry..i didn email u, I didn email nebody den , cuz I fot ff.net wasn't working, so even if I emailed it wuld b pointless. Newayz..fnx, n I hope fings go better wit u…**

**Delita**** Mukara Renorfetear- hehe…syaoran's my fav character, n its cuz I luv his character n how he's silent, cold n honorable. But….fnx n I hope u like dis chappie too! ^^**

**Pink Cherry Blossom- AIYA!!! Syaoran better go save Sakura from Pink Cherry Blossom or else..O.O *looks at pink cherry blossom's butcher knife* aiyo!! Ok..hehe…fnx for ur review!**

**Diana@lineelu2001- HEYZ!! Fnx for ur review, hope ya like tis one too ! ^^**

**Crystal Tears- fnx! Hope ya like tis ^^**

**Whisper- no prob…I'll let cha kno when I update..n im glad u liked my story, fnx, hope u like tis too ^^**

**Di5tortion- im glad my story has captured ur attention, fnx a lot, I hope tis chapter won't disappoint u. ^^**

**Glarie****- lol….wel..if sakura didn't have a boyfriend, and She luvs Syaoran, Syaoran luvs her, der'd be no prob, n therefore, wuld not b a story. ^^ fnx a lot for ur review. *me jus babbling again, don mind me***

**Sugar Plum- fnx a lot for ur review, I hope u like tis one too ^^**

**Geneveive****- YUP here's da continuation…I wuldn jus leave it hanging….ppl might kill me! *looks around scared* hehe…nah, prob not,its not even good, why wuld ppl care if I don't continue. ^^;; kk…fnx for ur review…hope ya like tis!**

 Author's notes: *looks around* *stretches* … get on wit da story. And I'm really sorry, it's not that good, cause I haven't been in the great mood, and I'm really tired, so bear wit me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Sakura looked out the classroom window, her head filled of memories…full of Syaoran. Suddenly the teacher interrupted her thoughts. 

               "Sakura kinomoto, are you planning on listening or working today??" The Teacher asked sternly.

               "H-hai, gomen nasai" Sakura said quietly, as the teacher returned to the lesson. Her eyes wandered around the room and landed on Syaoran, who seemed to be lost in thought just as much as she was. 

               _I think I'm doing the right thing….but I'm not sure….ARGH…Syaoran, since when did you become so indecisive?? Syaoran fought with himself. He stole a glance at Sakura, took a big breath. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              After class was over, Syaoran got up from his seat, and slowly walked up to Sakura. He wanted to give it one last shot.

              "Sakura, do you have an answer for me today?" he asked calmly. Sakura looked down.

              "Syaoran, I'm not sure-.." She couldn't continue, because she met Syaoran's glaring amber eyes. She opened her mouth to continue, but-

              "Ok then, kinomoto-san, I don't think there is anything left for me to speak to you, I wish you good luck in everything you do, wherever you are. I wish you a happy life." He said without emotion, and walked away. Away from his pain. Sakura looked confused. _What was that supposed to mean?? A happy life? Good luck in everything I do?? She thought. She packed her bag and walked home with a head full of thoughts._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               RRRRRIIINNNNGGGG

               "Coming!!!" Meiling called, and grabbed the phone.

               "moshi moshi" she said, panting from running to the phone.

               "….meiling…we're leaving."a Cold voice said without emotion. 

               "huh??Sy- "

               CLICK. It was over. Meiling stared at the receiver in her hand, and wondered what was up with her cousin. *Author's notes: I fink u kno who dat cousin is…rite?? If u don't, den I'm sorry, can't help.*  

                Syaoran sat down at his desk when he got home, and he took out a piece of paper, he ignored Meiling's questions, and went to scribble something on paper, and sealed it in an envelope. He stared at it…he longed to hold it against his heart…don't want to let go, but he knew he had to. He took a deep breath, and the last tear of his life…..fell onto the envelope. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 "….Syaoran…you really don't want to tell her?" Meiling asked quietly.

                 "I will tell her…just not right now, I don't need her to beg me, I'm just through," Syaoran said coldly, and went back into his room. Meiling sighed. 

                 Syaoran went to Tomoyo's house, and dropped off the letter, and left. Tomoyo came out to find a letter in her mailbox. On top of the letter was a note on a piece of paper.

                    _Daidouji__-san,_

_                                      Can you do me a favour, and give this letter to Sakura_

_                            Tomorrow. I won't be at school tomorrow._

_                                                                     -Syaoran Li_

Tomoyo finished reading it, and she stared at the envelope. She looked confused, and put the letter into her bag to give to Sakura the next day. _Why didn't Li-Kun, just give it to Sakura himself? She thought._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 "Ohayo Sakura-chan," Tomoyo greeted with a smile the next day when she got to school.

                 "Ohayo," Sakura said, lost in thought. Tomoyo took out the envelope and gave it to Sakura. Sakura looked confused.

                 "What is that, Tomoyo-chan?" She asked.

                 "It's a letter Syaoran left at my mailbox yesterday, and he told me to give this to you," Tomoyo said. Sakura slowly took the envelope, and opened it. 

                     _Dear Sakura Kinomoto_

_                                     I've stayed for a year now, and I have realized how foolish I've been._

_                               I came for an answer, I came with a hope, a dream and a wish yet to be fulfilled._

_                                   It has greatly disappointed me. This will be the last time you'll hear from me._

_                             I believed I could wait for you, and you'd love me someday. Or even if you won't love me_

_                                   I'd still wait, and simply hope..but that's pathetic of me. I believed Love could do all things._

_                           But I can't stay anymore. I've had enough. I let my heart wander and _

_                                  get stabbed. The closer I get to someone..the more they hurt me. From now on_

_                         I am never to be close to someone again, or love anyone again. I hope you and Tasaoran_

_                               Live a happy life,                                                           _

_                                                                Sayonara._

_                                                                                           -Syaoran Li_

    a tear fell onto the letter, the ink smudged. Sakura's hand shook, and she couldn't read on. She sat through the whole day with her head in her hands, she didn't know what she'd done. But up till now, she still couldn't admit she loved Syaoran. She was angry at herself. She was angry at Syaoran. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               "Daidouji-san!!" Meiling panted, as she ran to Tomoyo's house.

              "Meiling-chan! What did Syaoran say in that letter? Sakura was so shocked and depressed today after she read it." Tomoyo asked. Meiling shook her head.

             "….Sy-syaoran is LEAVING," Meiling cried. Tomoyo's eyes widened. 

             "Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo called Sakura.

             "Li-Kun is leaving today, he's going back to Hong Kong!" Tomoyo cried.

             "NANI??" Sakura said, eyes widened, and she dropped the phone. Memories of that day when he left her, so many years ago flooded her mind again. She shook her head.

            "SAKURA!! Can you hear me? Li-Kun is leaving tomorrow!" Tomoyo said. Sakura fell to the ground, as she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             Syaoran laid in his bed that night. He looked at the clock. It was 12:00, he was leaving at 5:00 a.m back to Hong Kong, he was tired, but he couldn't sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, Sakura is there. As if she's haunting him. He sat up and opened the blinds. He stares out the window, and see the moon, it was a clear night, and the sky was dark blue. He breaths in the cool, crisp night air. It feels good, and peaceful. 

             There wasn't a single star in the sky that night. He closed his eyes to sense the surroundings. _If there was a meteor right now, and I could make one wish, what would I wish for? He thought strangely. He couldn't find an answer. Before he came back to Tomoeda, he would wish to see Sakura again. When he came back, he would wish that Sakura would love him the way he loves her. A few days ago, he would wish for Sakura to have a happy life, and for her to be happy with Tasaoran. But now he had no idea what he would wish for. _

            For her to love him? For her to stop him from leaving? For Sakura to live on and forget him, or never forget him and keep him in her heart? He didn't know. Maybe he wouldn't wish for anything. People might say he's crazy, there has to be something you wish for, but he really didn't know. He closed his eyes to relax himself, and went back to bed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Meiling, can you hurry up? I don't want to miss our flight." Syaoran said tiredly. Meiling sighed.

            "You really want to leave Kinomoto-san? But you love her, don't you?" Meiling asked, frustrated.

            "Don't mind so much, this is something I have to deal with, I know what I'm doing," he said, and went into the car.

 Meiling went in as well. 

            "But won't you regret it?" She asked.

            "…..regret is the worst feeling, I hate regret, I don't want to see my dear cousin have any regrets," meiling added. Syaoran looked out the window, a small tear welled up in his eyes, but he closed his eyes. _ No more crying, I cried my last tear on her. I gave all my love to her, my heart is empty. _

             "I don't know If I'll regret this, but all I know is, if I don't leave, and have to be unselfish to watch her with someone else, I used to believe true love is to see the one you love, happy. But that can't happen, I can't be happy for them, I can't stand it, I can smile a fake one for her and give her a fake encouragement, but I do not wish to put myself in this situation, I want to surrender now, and leave this tangled love. If I don't leave now, I know I'll regret it." Syaoran said quietly.

             "But the Syaoran I know never gives up, he fights until the end, and always win the battle," Meiling said strongly.

             "Meiling….this isn't a fight, its not a battle….it's love, its feelings." He said in a monotone. Meiling sighed, and rolled her eyes. _This stubborn cousin can never be cured. She thought, and didn't say anything. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              Sakura looked at her watch nervously. It was 4:00 a.m already. She couldn't fall asleep the whole night. She didn't know what to do. She put her head in her hands in frustration. She took a deep breath and looked up, to see a picture of her and Syaoran smiling, so many years ago…it seemed too long to remember. She shook her head, and quickly got out of bed, and snuck out of the house, she ran to get a cab. She had to catch him before he left. She can't stand seeing him leave once again, going away, exiting her life, she can't let it happen again. 

               Suddenly the cab stopped. 

              "Excuse me, why did you stop? I'm in a hurry," Sakura said nervously.

              "Gomen nasai miss, but there's a car accident ahead of us, the whole road is blocked, it'll take a while," the cab driver said. Sakura sat back uneasily. She looked at her watch again. It was 4:30. She wasn't going to make it, if she didn't hurry. She couldn't stand it, she paid the driver, and got out. She ran to the subway, then changed buses. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Syaoran looked at his watch slowly. He didn't want Sakura to come, and it seems as though she wouldn't. But still, he wanted to see her one more time. Ten minutes later, she still didn't appear. His heart hardened more. _She's not coming, and it that's good! You don't want her to come anyways, so stop thinking about it. Syaoran thought to himself. He stood up, and motioned Meiling to board the plane. _

               Suddenly, a voice called out from behind. Syaoran closed his eyes. His back was to her. 

              "Shaoran-kun…onegai..don't leave me again, I don't want to see you exit my life once more, just like how you did 10 years ago." She said, trying to catch her breath. Syaoran didn't turn around. 

              "I leave, because I'm going to forget my feelings, I'm not going to cry another tear, and I'm never to be so weak again. I do not wish to stay here and pretend to congratulate you, because I cannot." He said coldly. 

              "But…i..i think I love you," Sakura stammered. Syaoran's eyes blazed.

              "you think?? Well, that's good for you. But I'm sorry, I don't love you," Syaoran said just loud enough for her to hear, and he took his last step in Tomoeda, and Sakura watched his back disappear from her sight. Tears streamed down her face. __

_    Sayonara……… _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

       Author's notes: *sighs* ok…IM REALLY REALLY SORRY IF THIS WAS TOO SHORT!!! And…please don't kill me? *gulps* ok….it's not the end yet, don't worry. And like I always say, if you want me to email u wen I update, leave ur email in ur review.after this chapter, Ima start working on my other stories, like 'A Dreamer Never Wakes up', and "Life In The End" if ya like, plz go check out  my other stories too! Kk…PLZ REVIEW!! ^^cyaz pplz.!__


	11. Are You going To Care?

Chapter 11               **_Everything for The One Thing I Can't have_**

  
Author's Notes: HIHI!! Well I'm back with chapter 11, this is possibly the **_Second Last Chapter of this story, but I'm not sure yet, I'll see…well here it is._**

Legend

_Italics-  Thoughts of a Character_

*author's notes:blhablha*- author's notes, my notes

((…..)) – Extra Info

"….." – Dialogue between characters

~~~~~~~~~~~ - Scene Change, divider. 

**Thank Yous:**

**Joey- Before, I thought of leaving it like that, actually that WAS the ending I had in mind from the beginning, but then things change here and there and stuff, so it goes on a bit longer, cuz now I haf another idea for an ending..this should be the second last chapter..but yah..wel, Thnx for reviewing anywayz!! **

**Odessa-…eva heard of…u hurt the one u love? ^^…newayz, hope u enjoy this chappie n thnx for ur review!**

**Glarie****- WELL here it is! Lol…hope ya like it!**

**~*~heaven sent~*~ - I'm glad you like my story! Arigato! ^^**

**Trigger*happy*Sakura- well no more wondering here it is! ^^ Thnx a lot for ur review! *hugs***

**Huh?-  HEY MEGGI SENSAI!! YUP miss forgotten was u…-_-" and I bet u dun remember *huh?* was u now…o wel…HEHE OUR SCHOOL…FUNNIE….HEHE *waves* BIBI MY HYPER EVIL TWIN!!**

**Midnightoasis****- Thank you for your review so much!! I'm glad my story could have that effect on you, *sniffles* *hugs u* **

**Geneveive****- Well….Syaoran did leave Sakura, but…there's always hope that things will go better! ^^**

**Jenny- Heya! I'm really happy u liked my story, and if you're new, and if you're interested in learning about fanfics and writing your own fanfics, read the part on the bottom of this chapter..ok? ^^**

**deVilblOssom- hehe here's more! Fnx for ur review, hope ya like tis too **

**Evil Emzo and Kero-  Lol….ur a really good author yah kno! MUCh better than me!! *bows to evil emzo* hehe…and here's a pudding for Kero *hands pudding to hyper kero* and here's *hands a pack of sugar to Evil Emzo* ^^ this is my little gift for you for reviewing my story and reading every chapter of this story so far. *hugs***

**Pink Cherry Blossom- *gulps at pink cherry Blossom's butcher knife* AHHH!! *runs for covera* okie…here's da chappie..don't hurt me or Sakura!! Cuz if u hurt Sakura than I lose one of my main characters of story and Syaoran will be more miserable!! Lol..newayz FNx a lot!**

**Blue toast- here's da next chappie for u! fnx for reviewing my story! ^^**

***teresa*- lol….i can be REALLI weird u jus haven't seen how weird, if you were one of my other friends that talk to me/ see me everyday…they think im MENTAL..haha…newayz, I'm glad my story touched u I hope ya like tis too! ^^ BTW I haf a good friend named Teresa too ^^ **

**Aerisakura**** and Smashfriends-  it's ok if you couldn't review last chappie, sometimes I'm so lazy I read the story and I don't review..not to be rude or anything, but I'm a big lazy bum…so when I DO review that means I more than like the story..^^ and ur still a loyal reader..lol, thnx a lot for ur review anywayz! *hugs***

**Starlight Princess- EEKS I just remember I need to email a lot of ppl for this update *quickly runs to type email* hehe…anywayz thnx for ur review a lot!!**

**Sammie- here u go! ^^**

**aZnDrEaMeR1788- wel…hope ya like this too! ^^**

**Watashi****- O.O *GASPS* WHERE DID U SAY U GOT UR SUGAR? I WANT SUGAR TOOOO hehe…ok…I'm sorry…..*smiles* thank u newayz!**

**Eugenia-  Thanks a lot for ur review! And I'll be sure not to forget to email u to let u kno..^^ **

To EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED DOMO ARIGATO GOZAIMASHITA! *BOWS* And I'm really sorry if this chappie is going to get a bit boring….*GULPS* 

****

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          "Wait!" Sakura cried as Syaoran walked calmly away to board the plane.

          ":I know you do, why are you running away from this?" Sakura called.

          "ME? I'm not the one running away from my feelings, you were, and now it's too late," he said coldly as he entered the plane. Sakura stared out the window as she saw Syaoran's plane fly away. She swallowed and turned around. 

          She wandered around the streets of Tomoeda. She hadn't realized it, but it was a whole day already and she looked up to see the beautiful sunset. 

           _Do I love him? She asked herself once more. She breathed in the cool crisp air and turned around to leave as she bumped into someone._

           "Gomen Nasai!" Sakura apologized quickly, she looked up and was surprised. *author's notes:…I bet u, more than half of you who are reading this is gonna think it's Syaoran….well…let's see…*

           "konnichiwa Sakura-chan," Tasaoran said. *author's notes:…^^ hehe*. Sakura smiled weakly.

           "What's wrong?" He asked. Sakura took a deep breath and sat down on a park bench. It was time he knew about the things that have been going on, it wasn't fair to him, and it had been really stressful to Sakura, part of her knew that Syaoran was right, and he had every right to leave, yet she still can't help but feel the rage inside and the pain that seemed to swallow up her heart when he said those words. 

           "Tasaoran, I have something I need to let you know," she said as Tasaoran sat down beside her. Sakura told him of her and Syaoran in Elementary school and how they confessed their love but at the end he left and she had thought she could move on, but things are beginning to differ now. 

            "I can understand if you're going to get mad, I should've told you earlier, but I just want you to know that I never intended to make you feel played. I really did got him away from my heart, but I didn't know this would happen when he came back into my life. I'm really really really sorry," Sakura said with her head hung low in shame. Tasoaran was shocked, but he was calm. Instead of the anger or aggression Sakura had expected of him, he was calm and quiet.  
              "Who do you love right now? I don't care about your pass, everyone has a pass, but what really matters is what's in your heart right now." He said quietly.

               "I don't know, I've been struggling with myself for a long time now," she said.

               "Well, if you love him then go find him, but if you love him then go find him, but if you ever change your mind….I'll still be there….for you," he said and walked away leaving Sakura to bury her head in her hands. A hand laid on her shoulders. Sakura looked up and saw Shiko.

                "Konbanwa," she said with a smile and sat down. Sakura tried to smile back.

               "What's the matter? You don't look so good….is because of Syaoran? Shiko asked gently.

               "What do you know?! You always act like you know everything when it's not even your business!!" Sakura snapped, frustrated. Shiko didn't say anything. Sakura covered her mouth with her hand.

               "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm just really frustrated, I shouldn't have said that, I don't mean it," Sakura apologized feeling even worst. 

               "It's ok…but I know more about you than you think I do…Card mistress." She said calmly. Sakura's eyes widened in horror.

               "how did you know I was the card mistress?!" She asked.

               "It's time I told you. Before a long time ago, after Clow Reed created the cards he made the guardians to guard the cards, Ceroberus and Yue. But they don't have the power to capture the cards. I was from a magical family, and strangely, I was the only one that had special powers that my family didn't have. Clow Reed found me and gave me the power to capture cards in case someday they were released. I used to have the wand you have right now.

                  I also, like you, fell in love with somebody. Something came up and we were separated. When I got to see him again, I already had my own life and he seemed to ruin it. I threw him aside because I didn't know how to live to accept him again. So he left. I never saw him again. When I started to regret what I did it was too late. In the end I gave up my powers and my life because it carried no more meaning anymore. However, clow Reed assigned me a job. To watch over the future Card Mistress, because I still had the power to live forever from my family. I spent a life living in regret. I saw you, the current Card Mistress and syaoran…I din't want you to end up like me so I came, to do my job…and to help myself not to dwell in memories, and help you." Shiko ended. Sakura sat there listening, stunned. 

                  "If you love someone, whoever it is, Tasaoran , Syaoran, I just hope you go for it because Regret is a very horrible thing, a life of regret, is a life without life." She said and walked away. 

                   Memories of every moment she had spent with Syaoran, with Tasaoran came across her mind. _A life of regret….is a life without life. Shiko's words remained in the depths of Sakura's mind and her heart. When she saw the heart that turned to ice in Syaoran she felt herself burn in shame, in pain, and a sense of loss. _

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                   Sakura walked into her house with a million thoughts invading her mind. She wasn't paying attention to where she was going and crashed into Touya. 

                  "…Watch where you're going, kaijuu!" Touya said. Sakura shook her head slowly.

                  "Iie…I'm not a kaijuu…not anymore…I'm…grown up," Sakura said, lost in her own voice. Touya stared at his sister awkwardly. She'd never said something like that before…not in that tone. He put his hand on her forehead.

                  "What are you doing, onichan?" She asked tiredly.

                  "…Are you feeling ok? Something wrong with you?" He asked, an eyebrow raised. 

                 "…I'm feeling just fine," Sakura said in a monotone, and climbed up the stairs to her room. Kero was busy playing his games and didn't notice his weary Mistress. She felt so tired, it felt as though she couldn't even stand still anymore. Her surroundings seemed to swirl as she held her head. She felt heavy and she closed her eyes, and slumped to the floor. Kero quickly stopped his games and flew over to Sakura.

                   "SAKURA! Daijoubo Desu ka?!" He asked, and shook her, but she didn't wake up. She was still breathing. Kero quickly flew downstairs to find Touya. *author's notes: in case some people didn't know, or forgot, Touya knew about Kero and Yue and the Magic, so he knows Kero isn't a stuffed animal!..or er…I fink? I get confused sometimes, if not, then lets just say he does now -_-" * 

                   "Sakura needs help!" Kero Called. Fujitaka wasn't home, so Touya followed kero upstairs. He quickly Swooped her up and carried her into the car and drove her to the Hospital. Kero was stuffed in a bag so people wouldn't see him. He took out Sakura's cell phone and called Tomoyo to tell her what had happened. Tomoyo immediately got to the hospital.

                   Touya and Tomoyo waited outside impatiently as the doctor examined her. He, then came out.

                  "How's my sister doing?" Touya asked concernedly. The doctor smiled lightly.

                  "No need to worry, she's just overly tired, causing her to faint, she just needs to rest and she'll be fine," He said.

                  "Domo Arigato Gozaimashita," Touya bowed. The doctor left. Tomoyo and Touya went up to her room. Sakura hadn't woken up yet. She was ok outside, but her lips were almost purple, and she was pale. 

                  "….He sure she's ok? She doesn't look like she's ok…" Tomoyo commented, as she sat down beside Sakura and held her hand. Touya went out to the hallway to call Fujitaka. He came back in, and stood behind Tomoyo, Tomoyo got up for Touya to sit down and she went to the telephone booth and called Eriol and Meiling.

                   BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRINNNNNNNG Meiling ran to pick up the phone in Hong kong. 

                  "wai?" She said.

                 "Meiling-Chan, this is tomoyo," Tomoyo said.

                 "Daidouji-san! What's the matter, you sound not so good," Meiling asked worriedly.

                 "It's Sakura-chan, She fainted today after the airport." She said.

                 "Oh my goodness! Is she ok?" Meiling asked.

                 "The doctor says she's just too tired and needs some rest," Tomoyo said.

                 "Oh…well I hope she gets better," Meiling replied, biting her lower lip.

                 "yah….even though she's physically ok, she really doesn't look ok…I think something's wrong," Tomoyo said.

                 "….Syaoran stopped talking or eating lately, all he's been doing is training," Meiling added. Tomoyo sighed on the other end of the line.

                 "…I'm not sure I should tell Syaoran this, he's been more than stressed lately, this will add to all his other problems," Meiling said.

                 "….but I think Syaoran should know how much this has affected Sakura and that maybe he'll realize how much this relationship, this love, actually meant to both of them." Tomoyo said. 

                 "….yah, I guess you're right, I should, but I just don't want my dear cousin to be so stressed, but I'll let him know," Meiling said. Tomoyo nodded.

                 "…ok, I should go now, ja ne" Tomoyo said. 

                 "Ja," They hung up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

                 "…Syaoran…" Meiling said softly. Syaoran's back to her in the training room. He sat on the mat concentrating his thoughts while trying to listen to Meiling. 

                 "…Sakura…she..um," Meiling began. Syaoran's eyes snapped open as he side glances her. 

                 "..She fainted today," Meiling said. Syaoran closed his eyes back. He turned around and leaned against the wall. One leg laid straight the other with his knee up *author's notes…Um. Is this confusing? Sorry!* His hand slung over his knee, and his head leaned on the wall. He took a sip of water and looked at Meiling. She felt uncomfortable. Syaoran showed no emotion, and after a while, which seemed like a decade to Meiling, he spoke.

                 "……so?" He asked tiredly, carelessly. Meiling couldn't believe what she was hearing. She shook her head in disappointment.

                "….what have you become? You weren't like this before, the Syaoran I knew 2 months ago, would've risked his life for her, and now…..you ask SO? YOU LOVE HER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Meiling almost shouted at him.

                "I don't know you anymore, you're not the cousin that I thought was worthy of every minute of my time, and now!...LOOK AT YOURSELF…What…ARE …you?!" She said angrily and flung her self around and walked out of the room. Syaoran closed his eyes and leaned his head on the wall. He swallowed. _……I know what I've become….i've become the syaoran that I know won't let me down with tears again, and won't go so low and so cheap to beg in front of someone that's supposed to love me. _

                He drew in a big breath and got up to train more. His moves were vicious and strong, every movement he made came out with anger and rage inside, as his mind tries to stop thinking of the pain that is so overwhelming. He tried to practice one of his hard moves, he jumped up high and tried to do a side kick, as a mouse suddenly squeaked by. Syaoran's eyes shot open wide and he felt himself fall and crash onto the hard mat on the floor. 

                He bit his lower lip as he got up. He drew in a big breath. _I failed again. I failed myself again. I can't even be good at the one thing I can only be successful in the only thing I have hope of winning in. he felt like punching himself. Everything inside of him came out, anger, rage, confusion, frustration, pain, everything. He just felt himself burst with emotions. He slammed into the wall again and again feeling the physical pain run through his veins, trying to forget the pain inside. _

                He threw himself down at the floor and he couldn't control himself, he held his knees close to his chest and felt tears pour out of his eyes from his heart. He felt so confused, so frustrated he didn't know what he was feeling and all he could do was break down he felt like screaming, but he didn't. He heard footsteps in the hallway, he shot up and wiped away his tears and got back to training. This fear seemed to take over him it felt as though he was going to let his weakness show…again…to someone he knew. _I am strong. He told himself over and over again, suppressing the feelings deep inside. _

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               Meiling felt herself shook as she saw what had happened to Syaoran. She had returned to tell him she was going back to Japan to visit Sakura as she was going to open the door she heard the wall shake and she peeked inside. Syaoran didn't know, but she watched him the whole time. Meiling left quickly and put her head in her hands. 

             "What have I done…" She whispered softly feeling ashamed and guilty and pained. 

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Meanwhile Japan:

             Sakura's eyes fluttered open slowly….

             "….Syaoran?" She whispered.

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 To BE Continued!

Author's notes: At the beginning, I had planned for this to be the last chapter, but then as I got typing I kinda got a bit more ideas and it got longer, so I decided to make the last chapter for next time. AND I MITE PUT AN EPILOGUE OR POSSIBLY SEQUEL…ONLY A POSSIBLITY…AFTER THE LAST CHAPTER….IT DEPENDS ON WHAT PPL WANT OR HOW MANY REVIEWS I GET Cuz writing a story is tiring and I lose a lot of inspiration sometimes, so if it isn't wanted I definitely won't make it, cuz I'll practically wear myself down, but if it has a good result than maybe I'll think it over.

**LATELY ME AND MY FRIEND SAKURABUNNIE HAS BEEN HAVING THIS IDEA OF MAKING A FANFICTION SCHOOL…LOL WE WERE KIND OF HYPER WHEN WE THOUGHT OF IT, BUT IT SEEMED FUN SO WE'LL GET A WEBSITE UP FOR IT LATERZ, AND BASICALLY IT'S A SCHOOL TO TEACH PEOPLE ABOUT FANFICTION HOW TO WRITE BETTER FANFICTIONS FOR NEW AND OLD AUTHORS OR IF U SIMPLY JUST WANT TO MEET SOME FRIENDS…WELL HYPER FRIENDS..HEHE LIKE US…DEN ****UR**** WELCOMED TO JOIN…SEND ****US**** AN EMAIL AT  evil_hyperness@hotmail.com ****ok? Ok.. AND WE HAVE A JOINT ACCOUNT NOW : Hypertwins SO IF YA LIKE CHECK THAT OUT.**

And thank you for taking up your time to read this. I'll work on the next chapter soon! Any Comments for this chapter/story just email me or talk to me on AIM, MSN, YAHOO, ICQ ok? KZ CYA MY FELLOW AUTHORS! LOL


	12. emotionless feelings

Chapter 12        **_Every Thing for the one thing I can't have    _**

Author's notes: ok…. …this has got to be one of my most successful story so far, wel, or maybe its jus cuz I didn work on da others…^^'' well, I'll really miss this story….i'm seriously thinking if I should add a sequel to it, but right now, I'm out of ideas, in fact I was stuck for a long time thinking how to make da last chapter work out the way I want it to….so, I'm not sure……well, *sighs* here goes….

     Legend

_Italics-  Thoughts of a Character_

*author's notes:blhablha*- author's notes, my notes

((…..)) – Extra Info

"….." – Dialogue between characters

~~~~~~~~~~~ - Scene Change, divider. 

**_Thank You's list:_**

 **ILoVeLiSyAoRaN****- Thank you for your review!! Well, I hope this chapter won't disappoint you!**

**Your Evil Twin- HIIIIII TWIN-CHAN!! Ehehe..our ad onli worked a bit..cuz nobody *pouts* wanted to join except for one person. Hmph!! Anywayz, cya later!! *waves***

**Pink Cherry Blossom- Heyloz! Thank you for not killing Sakura! ^^ but don't kill me after you read this chappie, cuz I only got one life!! **

**SweetBabyGurl****- thanks for your comment, but I'm a really bad author!! Yupz….well, I'm glad my story um….made you cry?....o.O I dono if datz a good thing..-_-" newayz, fanku!!!!!**

**Sailor moon faerie- OHOHOHO *hugs u* WE GOT A NEW STUDENT! Mwahaha..ok…well, er…me and my twin hafnt been working too hard on it yet, we'll definitely let you know the address of our 'school' after we establish it..-_-" ahaha…it sounds so strange, but you can't take back what you said.mwahahaha you belong to us now~!!!!! Ahahahahaha ….-_-" ok..i'm sorry, did I scare you? I'm a very weird and freaky person, and if you ask TomoyoTeng that, she'll agree 100%. Well, anyways fanks a lot!!!!! *smiles***

**Mikilovesfanficsalot****- thank you a lot!! I hope this will be a satisfying chapter…**

**Diana@Lineelu2001- *gulps* I'm sowwy I musta forgotten to email you, ehehe I have bad memory ^^'' I hope you forgive me *bows* , well I surely hope this is a good chapter….*sniff* I hate endings, but it really draws a story together to a conclusion.**

**Devilblossom****- thank you a lot, here's da chappie, hope ya enjoy~**

**Aerisakura**** and Smashfriends-  thank you a lot, I really hope this chapter will be a great chapter …. Thinking of doing a sequel, but it all depends on what you people think for me to decide whether I should make a sequel.**

**ChIbI**** yInG-fA- lol, oh I will finish it don't worry, and thanks a lot anyways!**

**bIsHoUjO**** KoKoRo mEgAmI- Here is tha long awaited chapter, and of course I'll read your story, ehehe I'm a very forgetful person, not to mention a lazy person too, so if I don't get the chance to check it out, do remind me!! And thanks anyways.~ ^^**

**Jenny- I'm really happy that it's a memorable story to you, and I hope you'll like this chapter!**

**Evil Emzo and Princess Apathy- HEYLOZ! Evil emzo is so dangerous!! Owwwiieee you poked me like a 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 x infinity times. *sniff* you so mean. *pokes evil emzo* I would poke you even more times, but I cant do dat rite now, or else ppl will haf to scroll down like 10 pages.-_-" o well, *sniff* mah storie's coming to an end soon!! *sniff* I'll miss it…I HAF A NEW IDEA FOR A STORY COMING UP SOON!! Hope you'll like ta check it out when I get it up. Oh, and btw, you said you were going to get a new story with your new idea, dicha get it up yet? If you did, email me n sent me da link or jus tell me da name of it..ehehe cuz im a very very lazy person as you mite haf known already. Anyways, dis is too long need to cut short, cyaz!!!**

**Silverwing****-  Glad dat you like my story, here is da chappie! Thank you! ^^**

**Amora****- I know it  maybe similar to a few other stories, but from what I've seen, I think der was too much of those 'it's all syaoran's fault, and sakura's the one's who's hurt" kind of fic, not dat I don't like Sakura, that's why I tried to make my fic a Syaoran centered fic. I'm sorry if it's a bit too typical, but I'm still glad dat you reviewed.**

**Starlight Princess- O.O when you said " * yawns* I thought you were going to say that my story was boring! Ehehe, but phew I was wrong. Anyways, thank you a lot!! I hope you'll like this chapter!!**

**Sakura Potato- Thank you for your review! I really hope this will be good! ^^**

- Here it is~

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Author's notes: I STILL DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD MAKE A SEQUEL BUT WELL, LET'S JUS SEE HOW THIS GOES!!! AND DON'T KILL ME BEFORE READING WHAT I HAVE TO SAY AT THE BOTTOM!!!!

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            Touya stared down at his sister, as her dry and purple lips tried to call out Syaoran's name. Touya clenched his fists, and turned around. He gritted his teeth, raged at the pain his sister was put in front of. Tomoyo stared out the window sadly as her mind went blank. Sakura's eyes opened halfway and her trembling hands reached for somebody. Tomoyo walked over to Sakura and held her hand. Sakura tried to talk, but Tomoyo put a finger on her lips telling her to be quiet.

           "…Sakura-chan, you've fainted and you're really weak right now, so just take a good rest," she said quietly in a soft voice. 

           "…Syaoran…" Sakura mumbled. Touya turned around with his piercing eyes.

           "ok, stop it now!" He shouted. Sakura was taken back by his reaction and so was Tomoyo. 

           "What are you talking about that gaki for?! He's the reason why you're here, I don't want you to go near him ever again!" He said angrily. Sakura stared at Touya with her tired eyes.

           "..Oni-chan, I know you love me, but I can take care of myself," she said.

           "No you don't, that's why you're here!" He snapped. Sakura shook her head slightly.

           "No, I'm here, because I found the answer to the most important thing in my life," She said quietly. Touya rolled his eyes, and held his hand up, palm facing Sakura. 

           "forget it, I'm not going to start this," he said, and walked out the room. Tomoyo sighed, and sat down beside Sakura.

           "Sakura-chan, what is your answer?" She asked softly. Sakura's eyes landed on the photo beside her bed, and with a shivering, weak hand, she pointed at it. Tomoyo felt tears at the back of her eyes threatening to slide down her silky skin.

           "…I'm so happy, that you found your answer, I wish you the best, and I'm glad I have a friend like you, a strong girl that will stand up to face her feelings no matter how hard it has been, I'm proud of you Sakura-chan, you have not disappointed me," Tomoyo said with a smile. Sakura closed her eyes and whispered lightly;

          "….me too." 

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          Sakura felt her legs on the cold pavement of the road as she tried to stand still. A hand reached down at her and pulled her up. She turned around to see Tasaoran. She brushed the dirt off her robe.

         "Arigato Tasaoran-kun," she said. Tasaoran smiled.

         " you're still so weak, you shouldn't try to walk alone," he said. Sakura rolled her eyes.

         " I've been sitting on my bum for the last few days already, if I keep that posture, I'm probably never going to be able to walk again!!" she exclaimed. He smiled.

         "strong aren't we," he said as he helped her to the bench. 

         "when are you leaving?" He asked. Sakura's eyes widened.

         "…how..? how did you know I was going?" she asked. 

         "..well, you gave up such a great guy (ME) so you must be going for somebody else," he said with a wink. Sakura whacked him playfully on the shoulder. 

         "ouch!! Maybe you really CAN walk now, since you can hurt a guy so much," he exclaimed. Sakura suddenly grew quiet, and looked at the ground.

         "..i'm sorry tasaoran-kun, I never meant to hurt you," she said quietly. Tasaoran looked around uncomfortably and smiled.

        "Sakura-chan, if it wasn't ok, I wouldn't be here, so don't worry about me," he said. Sakura smiled, glad that she didn't lose a friend. 

        "here, let's go back to the room now," he said as he helped her up, and they walked away.

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         A powerful energy surrounded the mansion. Yelan looked up from her book and she felt her son's strength growing, and a small smile of satisfaction planted on her lips, as she went back to her book. 

        In the training room, Syaoran had his hands clasped together and his hair moved with the energy so immense as he felt his power gathering up in his hands. His eyes opened as it flared with determination and power. Over the few months of intense training, he had never felt this powerful before. His magic level increased higher than even Yelan had expected, perhaps it was because of the pain that still lingered in Syaoran's heart. He tried his hardest to get it out and focus on his training, to be powerful, to be stronger than he had ever been….- hoping it'll make his heart stronger too, hoping to forget the girl living in his heart. A little voice inside his mind keeps telling him: _you know you'll never forget her, even if you kill yourself, the memories will still linger inside your grave, echoing through your hollow body, and within your soul.  _

          "I never gave up on you Sakura….you gave up on me," he whispered quietly as all the remaining power within him came out into a blow and the walls crumbled down and for the walls for 6 rooms where broken and he could see through each room. He wiped the sweat of his forehead, and changed into something fresh. 

          "…I see you have improved, my son," Yelan said. Syaoran bowed slightly when he saw his mother. 

          "Life, isn't always about what you own, it's about what you can let go, and you, my son, has learned to leave behind the things every mortal cannot leave behind, this is a sign of strength, you've overcame your weakness," she said, a bit of pride in her tone, but somehow, Syaoran did not feel proud at all. _Mother…..you don't know it, but I still haven't left it all behind…..something is still within me, but I assure you, that someday I WILL get rid of it……somehow._

_           That night, Syaoran sat at his desk, with his desk lamp turned on and the rest of the lights off. It was dead silent; the way he had wanted it to be…all his life. His goal was to be dead silent, keep away from emotions that will set him off course, silence that can let him dwell within it until he couldn't sense again. He was aware of what this emotion could lead him to, but he let it go on, because she felt more important than his pride. But was it really pride? No…it probably wasn't. It was the only way for him to live his life, it wasn't simple pride, it was the way he could be safe from feelings. Wonderful, it was when Sakura smiled at him and he felt her pink aura, but that was as wonderful as it could get. _

           He realized, he gave up everything he had. Not just his family, not just his clan, not just his pride, or love or time. He let down his barrier, he welcomed her into his arms, but he was actually bending, kneeling on the cold floor the whole time. Kneeling for longer than he'd known it, kneeling in front of the one he loves. Kneeling for so long, so cold, his knees were scraped, sliced, scratched, and bloody. There wasn't any pain he felt, it was numb, and so was his love. He thought it was love, it was what kept him there, what made him stoop so low for the person that was supposed to fill his emptiness. But he realized, it isn't…..it isn't. It was love that brought him there, but it was his emptiness that felt so desperate to be filled, the desperation to hold onto what was left, that kept him there, in Tomoeda for so long. 

          Was it worth it all, what he'd done? He didn't know, and didn't feel like thinking about it. All there's left is the result. The result of the bloody scraped knee, the heavy heart he would give away, if he could, and the tears that might lighten the load.

          Never been so weak in his life, never been so regretful, and lost, nothing can change that, life goes on. He didn't want to dwell in their memories, he didn't want to dwell in the past nor think of the future. This moment, alone, is too heavy to carry on with life. Fall asleep…maybe it'll be the answer to his problems. Maybe the next day he would forget everything, and be the person , the powerful sorcerer that didn't need to hide his emotions, because he had nothing to hide- That's the person he wanted to be, that's the person his life was supposed to lead. That's him. Maybe he can let go….but if he can't….than maybe a long sleep will help. 

           He sighed, and let out a breath. He had figured out a lot of his feelings that night, and it's time he made his feelings clear to Sakura. He took out a piece of paper, he took a thin blue inked pen, and started writing. He couldn't get himself to talk to Sakura again, because he had nothing to say to her face, but there are some things that he wants to let her know, whatever it might lead to. 

           _Life has it's meaning….but mine just ended. Maybe I can forget it…….maybe, tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the next year, but my heart will always remain in today's time.  _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           A pair of rough hands, rinsed a dish over the tap carelessly, and angrily. Fujitaka glanced at Touya, as he saw his son washing the dishes angrily. He sighed.

           "I was away, and I'm not so aware of what happened, but if this is what Sakura chooses to do, let her go, she's a grown up girl, she can take care of herself, and even if it is a mistake to go, a person need to go through problems, and mistakes and learn from them, in order to grow," He said gently. Touya kept on with his work splashing water everywhere when he dug his hands into the sink to rinse the dishes. 

          "It can be a mistake that she can't afford to make, she'll end up in a mental hospital," he said between gritted teeth. 

          Fujitaka sighed, and went out of the kitchen in defeat. Sakura came down the stairs softly.

          "Otou-san, I'm going over to Tomoyo's house for the night today, ok?" Sakura said, as she put on her shoes. 

          "Ok," he said with a smile. "Becareful!"

          "I will, ja ne!" she said, and closed the door behind her. As she walked onto the empty street, and stared at the sun set ahead of her. She drew in a sharp chilly breath. Autumn was here, every leaf that fell on the ground felt like another day passed right in front of her. A cool breeze swept across, and suddenly she felt desperately wanting the warm embrace of Syaoran. She could see her breath as she exhaled into the cool air. It looked like a cloud, one that seemed to feel good and relieving in some way she couldn't describe. She pressed the doorbell at Tomoyo's door, and waited for her to come. 

          "Konnichiwa Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo said with a smile, and invited her in. 

          "Want something warm?" Tomoyo asked as she hung Sakura's coat on the coat hanger. Suddenly a weird smile came on sakura's lips.

          "I'm freezing cold…but I don't feel like having anything warm, I feel like having a cup of ice cold water," she said, amused at her own request. Tomoyo's eyes widened, and put a hand on her forehead.

         "are you sick? It's freezing, and you still want ice??" She asked. Sakura shrugged tiredly. Tomoyo went to get her what she wanted. As they went upstairs to her room. Sakura gripped her hand tightly on the glass of ice water. She felt her hands burn, but she gripped it tighter, as she and Tomoyo talked. The coldness numbed her fingers, and soon she felt her hands feel numb too. Tomoyo hadn't noticed Sakura's hands, and was busy showing her some costume design sketches she drew. Sakura just smiled, and sweat dropped at the weird costumes in store for her. 

         That night, they lay in they're beds, Sakura on her sleeping bed below Tomoyo's bed, and Tomoyo turned over to Sakura. 

         "So when are you leaving?" Tomoyo asked. 

         "I'm going in two days…..but I'm still worried, I don't know if Syaoran is still mad at me," Sakura said softly. 

         "I'm sure he wasn't, don't worry about it,"Tomoyo said comfortingly. 

         "…well…even if he doesn't want me there, doesn't want me back anymore, I will still go there, for my sake," she said. Tomoyo smiled and yawned.

        "let's got o sleep now," she said, and turned off the lights, as they both fell asleep from the tiring day. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

         "Sakura, do you have everything you need?" Fujitaka asked. Sakura took out her list, and checked everything off, and nodded. Touya stood at the side, with his arms crossed. Sakura hugged Tomoyo and Fujitaka. Her plane was boarding now, and she had to go. 

        "….Sayonara Oni-chan, I'll be back," she said with a smile, and waved. Touya kept his posture and looked away. As Sakura got her ticket checked and was about to board the plane, she heard a voice.

       "You better take care of yourself, because if you come back with a broken heart I won't help you!" Touya's voice echoed in Sakura's ears. She smiled and nodded.

       "JA NE, MINNA-SAN!" She called. Tomoyo smiled and walked forward.

       "IF YOU DON'T COME BACK WITH LI-KUN, I WON'T LET YOU COME BACK!" She called. Sakura smiled.

       "DON'T WORRY I WILL!" She called, and got on the plane. 

       "I'm coming, Shaoran-kun," she whispered, as she laid her head back on her seat and closed her eyes. The second that the plane left the ground, an envelope sealed with the name "Sakura Kinomoto" on it was dropped into a mailbox. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

       A pair of piercing eyes glared at the emerald eyes, of whom, belonged to a girl who was sweat dropping. 

       "KINOMOTO-SAN, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS, YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME THAT YOU WERE COMING UNTIL DAIDOUJI-SAN CALLED ME ONE HOUR AGO??" Meiling screamed in Sakura's face. Sakura sweat dropped, and bowed in apology. Meiling put her hands on her hips and continued to glare at Sakura for another 10 seconds, then a huge smile came to her lips, and she got her driver to help put Sakura's bags into the trunk and pushed Sakura into the car.

      "Meiling-chan, I don't think this is such a great idea, I can't live with you for now, I mean, what will Syaoran think, maybe I should just find a hotel first," Sakura said frantically. 

      "I'm sorry, but I don't care about what he thinks, you're MY guest now, and you WILL stay with us," she said. Sakura sweat dropped, and sat back in defeat. 

      "I'm HOME, and I brought a GUEST!" Meiling called, when Sakura's luggage was unloaded. Yelan came out into the hall.

      "Meiling, what are you screaming about," she asked. Meiling smiled, and pushed Sakura forward, like a gift.

      "I brought a guest, can she stay with us for awhile, auntie?" she asked. Yelan stared at Sakura, as her pink aura was examined carefully by Yelan. 

      "I see the card mistress is here, it's been a long time, of course she can stay for awhile," she said with an elegant, polite smile, and told Meiling to choose one of the guest rooms for her, and went back to her room. 

      After Sakura unpacked her stuff, Meiling grabbed Sakura by the hand and led her to the training room. They tip toed quietly to the training room and Meiling put a finger to her lips telling Sakura to be quiet. Meiling's hands touched the door, and a voice came out.

      "Meiling, I know you're there, no need to hide, you're starting to annoy me," he said. Meiling sighed in defeat, and opened the door. Sakura was at the side, and Syaoran didn't see her. Meiling told Sakura to stay there for a minute. She walked over to Syaoran. Syaoran was in a white training robe, and a traditional band tied on his head, with his hair over it, and it has a traditional symbol on it. Sakura peeked in a bit, and felt her cheeks turn hot. 

      "how did you know I was there?" Meiling asked with a pout. He side glanced her.

      "I always know. I know everything around me, every little thing," he said, and continued on to concentrate on his power. Meiling smirked.

       "Oh really? **_Everything?" She said. Syaoran ignored her._**

       "If you know EVERYTHING, then I wonder if you know who's behind that door right now," Meiling said, pointing at the door. Syaoran's eyes snapped open. He didn't need to feel the aura, he knew something was wrong. He knew some one behind that door is someone that he most certainly does not want to face. He drew in a small breath, and closed his eyes, trying to focus back on his training, but his heart was thumping against his chest, and his head flooded with thoughts, doubts, regrets…feelings. 

        "…please, no," he whispered softly to himself. Feeling the energy surge through his veins, as the door creaked open a bit and Meiling pulled a light brown haired girl. His back was to her, but the moment she entered the room, his energy went out of control, he almost felt as though he had eyes at the back of his head, he could just see her face, the once so angelic face, now  turned so hard to look at. He felt his hands, his body, tremble, and his green aura felt like it exploded, it blew Meiling and Sakura half way across the room. Syaoran's eyes snapped open, as he quickly got up, and shook his head. He bit the inside of his mouth, and tore off the band on his head, and walked out of the room, his feet almost making a dent, a mark, on the floor. 

         Meiling stood up with her eyes wide open, and her mouth hung open, then she snapped out of her trance, and pulled Sakura up. Sakura brushed the dirt off her clothes, and stared at the open door. 

         "What on earth was that?!" Meiling said loudly.

         "He scares me sometimes," she said with a sigh. 

         "he's probably just too shocked to see you, and he doesn't know what to say, don't worry," meiling said with an assuring smile. Sakura nodded a bit. _I hope she's right…I really hope so._

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

          KNOCK KNOCK, Syaoran heard a knock on his door of his room. He slowly stood up and walked over to the door, his hand reached for the doorknob but it stopped. He drew his trembling hand back. He couldn't concentrate, he couldn't think and he didn't want to talk to the person outside, so he turned around and let himself fall backwards onto his bed and his body bounced up a little as it hit the hard mattress of his bed. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. The knocking got louder, and Syaoran continued to ignore it.

        "COME ON, SYAORAN, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" Meiling demanded. " OPEN THIS DOOR! You're not being fair to yourself nor to Kinomoto, give both of you a chance at love one more time! I know you, and I know you won't ever love somebody the way you love Kinomoto again! Come out, and be a man, face your problems! You spend like 12 hours a day to train yourself, what you're really hoping for isn't to build yourself up physically, you hope to forget everything of the past and built your inside stronger, to keep yourself away from feelings. YES, I agree that the past should be left as the past, but RIGHT NOW, THIS ISN'T THE PAST SO DON'T IGNORE IT AND PRETEND IT NEVER WAS HERE, BECAUSE IT **_IS HERE!!" Meiling yelled through the door and thumped down the hall. Syaoran stared at the door. _**

_         I'm Not pretending it isn't here……I know I caused Sakura pain, I know I caused a lot of people to worry and concern about us, especially Meiling….but I gave up myself to Sakura when I stepped off that plane the first day I stepped on Tomoeda grounds. But yet, I was merely nothing to her, like a worthless ant trying to crawl back into Sakura's life…and ruin it. Her life wasn't the only one ruined…….mine was too. It's just that after all the begging there was nothing left in me to show her that my life was messed up, I don't need them to see that it's ruined, because I have no interest in being pitied. _

_      I'm already dead, not physically, but I know something inside is already dying…………what exactly is it? _

_I don't know, but I do know that it can't be recovered……  _

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 Autho'rs notes: **_WAIT WAIT WAIT BEFORE YOU START SCREAMING AT ME ABOUT WHY I ENDED IT LIKE THIS, JUST LISTEN!!! I-AM-NOT-FINISHED YET, OK!?? _****I'M REALLY SORRY FOR THOSE WHO WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE LAST CHAPTER!! But things turned up, n I kept on typing and I really still haven't gotten to the ending, and I fink it's getting a bit too long, so I decided to cut the last chapter in two parts/two chapters, so the ****NEXT CHAPTER will be the last one, I'm really sorry! I really planned this to be the last chapter, but as you can see, things changed a bit. ANNYYYWAYYSSS I ****_WILLGET TO THE NEXT AND FINAL CHAPTER OF THIS STORY NEXT TIME, I ASSURE U!!   OKK BYEBYE! AND DON'T FORGET TO _****REVIEW~!**

          


	13. Owner Of my heart

Chapter 13       **Everything for The One Thing I can't**** Have**

****

Author's Notes: sorry for the late post, but I haven't been in the mood at all lately, I was already in a big mess, a fren of mine jus told me he's neva coming bak to my skule again bcuz of his family problems, and crap. I can feel angst, but I can't seem to write anything lately. Feels as though I'm losing everything around me…physically and emotionally. But I know it isnt' fair for those who are waiting for this chapter, which probably isn't a lot neway…but, well, here goes.

Legend

_Italics- Thoughts of a Character_

*author's notes:blhablha*- author's notes, my notes

((…..)) – Extra Info

"….." – Dialogue between characters

~~~~~~~~~~~ - Scene Change, divider

**Thank you's: **

**Your twin: hihi!! You don't come on msn that much anymore…*sob* I don't get to talk to my twin anymore..haha….you sang dis cassette a long time ago n send it to ter in da summer rite? Wel, she jus bought it to me lyk yesterday!! Haha….n I was going to kill you wen u said u were gunna skip "jian dan ai" Jay chou but den found out u sang it at da end…was it my imagination or did u say "shut up Vanessa..e.t.c"? o.O *sniff* my twin told me to shut up…haha whops…ok, nobody read dat rite? Ok good..haha I'm stupid anyways SEEE YYYAAAA my HET ß a.k. Hyper evil twin haha…**

**LI Syaoran Is So BISHONEN – Here it is!**

**Sileverwing****- I'm so sorry for the late update…you prob already forgot tis story, but here it is…**

**Joey- thanks for the review, here it is! * I haf a feeling nobodi's reading dis nemore..haha updated too late o wel***

**Jenny- heh..as u said later in another review, I DID email u, but I chose the other email cuz I had no idea which one ur using, so I'll remember to send u an email in this email next time, but thanks anyways!**

**Hummm****- wen I started dis story it was meant to b  more of a 'syaoran' story…hehe..he is my fav character, and I got tired of the fics saying Sakura's da onli one depressed and crap…wel newayz, THANKS!**

**Sheryl- Thanks for da review, glad ya liked it!**

**Rainbow-dreamer- Thankiesz! Sorry…this was updated so late..it's been lyk two months already I'm so sorry, didn't know where my inspiration ran, so..hehe**

**Pink Cherry Blossom- Thanks!! I'm so happy you liked my story, and of course, SYAORAn's always rite..mwaha I'm jk heh…newayz, hope ya lyk dis too**

**Aerisakura**** and Smashfriends- HEYo! Fanks so much, really glad you liked dis story…I was thinking of doing a sequel bcuz I really lyk dis story myself too, and didn't wanna end it…**

**Sammie- thanks for da review!**

**bIsHoUjO_KoKoRo_mEgAmI****-****thanks a lot! Im happi u liked da story ^_______^**

**Diana@Lineelu2001- *gulps* u wanna hang me in my bedroom? *inches away* hehe…newayz, fanks for the review..i sent you an email for the update too, bcuz u said last time dat I never send u one, newayz *waves***

**Evil Emzo and priness Apathy- HIHIHI!! U sure luuuvv your copy and paste button..haha….first u poke me a million times, n now u're winking a million times..haha…or more dan dat…newayz, glad u liked it, ^_____^ u r a wonderful and talented author *unlike me ^_____^''* newayz, I'll cya!! *p.s : same thin I say every time: I never get to talk to u on msn!! *sob sob* ok….ima go byebye now..hehehe**

Author's notes: ok…get ready for sum ANGST cuz I'fe been very angsty lately…more lyk all my lyf, so angst comes natural to me, here goes nothing: 

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               A pair of soft creamy hands, slightly trembled was rolled up into a loose fist and was barely touching the smooth wood of the door. She pulled them back a little to knock on the door, yet her trembling and shivering hands kept returning to her side. Her long auburn hair covered her face as her head was hung low. She took a deep breath and attempted to knock once again but just as her hand was going to touch the door, she suddenly felt a familiar aura…but it wasn't an aura she wanted to sense at a time right now. 

               She followed the aura's energy and led to a room, it was a big room and she peeked around the corner.

               "Sorry, it didn't work, I return this back to you," A familiar voice said. 

               "Very well, but next time think about it before you ask of anything, it is terribly irritating and taking up our time," An older man's voice said. Suddenly she sensed it. It was the red aura that had caused the trouble earlier in Tomoeda. Sakura stepped out with her wand, but as soon as she got out, the aura was gone, and all she saw was a couple of shadows going out. 

               "WAIT!" Sakura called out. The shadow turned around and it was an elderly man.

               "Who are you?" She asked.

               "I'm one of the elders of the Li clan, how may I help you?" his voice sounded emotionless. Sakura's eyes widened a bit and quickly bowed.

               "S-sorry, I thought you were someone else," she said. 

               "….I'll get going now," he said and left. Sakura sat down with a sigh of relief. A hand tapped Sakura on the shoulder. Sakura jumped a bit, and sprang up and turned around with her wand.

               "Wh- oh, Meiling, you scared me," she said with a sigh. 

               "…Kinomoto-san, what are you doing here?" She asked with an eyebrow raised.

                   "Never mind, I just thought I saw something.. meiling, I think I just sensed the red aura from the time Syaoran got attacked and the tornado and all the other strange things!" Sakura said with a low voice. Meiling looked at her for a small while, and let out a sigh.

                   "Actually, about that…it was really my fault," she said. It was Sakura's turn to be confused now.

                   "….I asked the elders for a temporary magic," she said it out. Sakura looked more confused.

                   "It was because of you and Syaoran, me and Daidouji-san wanted to put you guys back together, it was hurting us to see you guys like that, so I decided to put you guys in some 'trouble' nothing that was intentionally going to hurt you, to test your love for one another, and about Syaoran being hurt, that wasn't intentional, it was an accident I would never hurt you guys," she said with a sigh. Sakura was still a bit confused but she understood. 

                    "I'm sorry Kinomoto-san," she said. Sakura shook her head.

                    "It's okay, I know you were just trying to help, and I can only blame myself for doing what I did to Shaoran-kun," she said, suddenly remembering how she was going to talk to Syaoran before the aura's energy had disrupted her. 

                     Sakura walked back down the empty hall to Syaoran's room, but he wasn't there anymore. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

                     Syaoran wiped away the sweat on his forehead, as he sat down on the matt in the training room and took a drink of water. 

 _I can't concentrate……she's back in my life, I can't run away from her…but do I really want to run away? Her angelic face still haunts my dreams and thoughts. Her innocence still brings a smile upon my lips, but irritation at the innocence at the same time. My heart never left her, but I've decided I didn't NEED a heart, she can keep it or burn it, it won't affect me, I have nothing to do with her anymore, I have to get it into my head. _

_                     It was evening already, he had locked himself up in the training room the entire day, and did not intend on leaving just yet. He looked out the window, the city lights were turning on, and the sun was setting. The view too him was beautiful. It felt something special….it reminded him of the memories he never had, the faces he would never see, the voices he would never listen to, and a taste of sweetness he never had. Sometimes, thinking about what's wrong won't help. Can he drop the burden in his heart and stand up, face life with a positive attitude? It was something he hasn't been doing for a very long time already. _

                     He rested his arms on the window frame, and rested his chin on them. The soft wind blew in and ruffled his messy chestnut hair. He closed his eyes and let it sink into the depths of his heart. The breeze felt like an assuring hand, a soft caress on his cheeks. Somewhere in his heart, he felt something lift him up, dropped a part of the grief and burdens. He drew in a breath of fresh air. As the air filled his lungs, he felt a new energy surge through him. The sudden feeling of happiness flooded his restless heart, his mind and his body. Maybe it was because he had planted Sakura's loving memory, fell too deep with her, and carried his feelings too far, maybe it will never surface and stay, planted in the depths of his heart. Maybe a lot of things will happen, but who was he to know? 

                     Never loved someone this way, never will, his soul still strongly held onto that fact, but even if this world doesn't care anymore……even if Sakura won't care anymore, he will continue to live, but not with an empty heart, but a heart that will be willing to earn enough to fill the emptiness up, someday. A new determination flooded his heart. __

_                    Could I….really live… without Sakura?_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_                    KNOCK KNOCK, Sakura heard her door being knocked. She opened the door and it was Meiling._

                   "How are ya? Everything ok?" Meiling asked with a huge smile. Sakura nodded and smiled back.

                   "Well…we all know why you're here, so it's your choice, but I suggest that you sit down and talk with Syaoran," She said. Sakura sighed. _If I can actually get him to stay still and not avoid me for even a minute…she thought sadly._

                   "I know, thanks, I'll talk to him when I get the chance," She replied. Meiling nodded and left. Sakura flopped down onto her bed and stared up at the high ceiling. The crystal light brightened the room, and Sakura stared at the colours it reflected. Her thoughts wandered backwards. When Syaoran's voice had rung in her ears _I love you Sakura…..I love you Sakura…..it keeps repeating in her head. A tear formed in her eyes. She was positive he loved her then, but what happens if what he said at the airport that day was true? That he no longer loved her?_

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                   Syaoran didn't return to his room, he stayed in the training room, it was dark, and he didn't bother. He stopped his training and sat down. His head rested on the wall and he rested his body in defeat. His thoughts wandered free once more. That day he remembered Sakura's sweet voice telling him that she felt the same, it was overwhelming, he was overjoyed and excitement, happiness surged throughout his body like energy. Why did his happiness end here? Why was his instant happiness…--like the way it came, suddenly, it left the same way, suddenly. 

                  He remembered the day he screamed out for joy and excitement, when he first succeeded in a good mark at a report card when he was younger, he made an honor role, and he was so happy, he didn't think he could make it, but he tried hard, and the moment he calculated his average he figured out he made it, it was like the best thing for him in a long while, since the harshness at home, and the death of his father. He felt significant, succeeded in some special way. Then later he found out he had calculated it wrong, he calculated it again and again and again but he still remained the same number. He didn't get it. The happiness that brought him way above the clouds brought him down below the earth. He felt the first tears he had cried since a long time, poured down his cheeks softly. It wasn't a big deal, but his heart was suffering. He wished those numbers would just rise by two, and he would've accomplished his goal. It wasn't fair. 

                   If his heart gave in to those tears then, the strong Syaoran Li, had cried for that mark, but now he felt no tears pouring down his cheeks anymore as he watches his loved one hurt him. Somewhere deep deep down his heart, he felt something aching, it hurt more than anything but yet, he had no tears. How come, it hurts so much when you thought your heart was filled, and life was finally of some worth, and it blows past leaving you empty, disappointed and lost? 

                   Many people can say that they love someone, but do they actually truly know the real meaning of love? Those who are brave enough to say they do not know, because it is the truth, those are people are real, those who say they do but they don't, are fake….but Syaoran knows that he is positive he knows he loves Sakura. He is serious about everything he does in life, and that doesn't exclude Love in any way.  If she will never love him the way he loves her, then maybe she wasn't meant to be with him, but in his heart he doesn't really care that much anymore. 

                   He knows what he feels for her and that's enough. He can't stop himself from thinking what he doesn't want to think, he can't stop himself from the disappointment, defeated by the grief, it hurts, and it feels as though he is the only one that will ever understand, no one else will. If he was meant to take this path alone, then it he can't change it. The tears still want to pour out, his mind is still struggling hard not to think about it, but what can he do, besides try his best not to think of it? He never asked for much, never asked for a lot of things, he still asked, what had he done wrong? Why couldn't good things ever last for him, why did it have to go away, dissolving into the air leaving him paralyzed in his own world? 

                   Sakura's memories will forever live on in his heart, her voice will forever be a sorrowful tune in his soul, and her features will forever remain in his eyes, the love they had once shared…or even if she never gave him the love, he will forever remember her……….

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                   Sakura gathered up all her courage and gently, softly, almost hoping he wouldn't be able to hear, she knocked on his door. Nobody answered, she put her hand on the knob, it wasn't locked. She felt an urge to go inside, Syaoran wasn't in his room. She walked into the solemn room. There was a big glass window at the other side, and the curtains were on the side. His bed sheets were a dark green and he had a desk. She looked on the desk and saw a picture. She took it up and held it closer to take a better look. It was a picture of him and her taken when they were in grade 6. She had a bright smile and Syaoran had a serious expression, as always, but she could clearly see the happiness in his eyes. She looked at another picture, which was recent, and meiling was beside him with a huge smile, Syaoran's expression would seem like it was the same as the other one, but the happiness that glimmered in his eyes were gone. 

                   She was about to leave when she accidentally bumped the garbage can and a few paper fell out. She knelt down and put the paper back in the bin, but something caught her attention. Her name was on them. She opened the paper balls up and realized it was letters to her. The letters that Syaoran had intended to send her but didn't know the right words. Tears welled up in Sakura's eyes as she read them. Suddenly she heard a sound in the hallways, so she threw the paper back in the bin and walked out, closing the door behind her. 

                    _I have to get things cleared up with Syaoran, or I'll regret it forever……I still wasn't sure if I made the right choice when I came to Hong Kong, but I've finally realized. Syaoran's love for me had always been stronger than mine for him, young was just an excuse, he waited all these years for me, and only me, I owe him everything, He did everything for me, and………maybe it's time to prove my sacrificial love for him…_

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                    Sakura opened the door slightly to the training room. Syaoran was training hard. Sakura slid past the door and stood at the side. Syaoran didn't notice she was there, he was trying to clear his thoughts. Suddenly, the side of his eye glanced Sakura. He lost his balance and fell. Sakura ran over to help, but he quickly stood up before she could get to him. 

                   "Um….are you ok?" She asked quietly. Syaoran nodded. He got off the matt and went to get a sip of water, and used the towel to wipe off his sweat. He sat down on the matt and rested his head on the matt. Sakura followed him and sat beside him as well. She side glanced Syaoran. They sat in silence for a while. It was getting extremely uncomfortable for both of them. 

                   Sakura took a deep breath and decided to break the awkward silence.

                   "Syaoran-kun….since the first day I saw you in Tomoeda when you came back from hong kong, I was struggling with my own thoughts, I never thought about your feelings, and I'm so sorry for my selfishness," she said quietly. Syaoran swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn't say anything, Sakura was going to go on when suddenly, they heard a loud noise outside. They both got up.

                   "I—I'll go and see what happened," Syaoran mumbled and walked out quickly. He came back after a little while.

                   "What happened?" Sakura asked. 

                   "Nothing, nobody was outside probably just the workers at the kitchen," he said.

                   "At this late?" Sakura asked. Syaoran looked down.

                   "Um…I'm sorry, were you going to finish? Because I'm really tired and I kind of want to go to sleep, would you mind if we continued this another time?" He asked. Sakura looked down in disappointment. 

                   "Sure, sorry," she said with a small smile. Syaoran nodded a good bye and walked out to take a shower. Sakura sighed as she returned to her room as well. 

                    Syaoran almost ran up the stairs to his room, and closed the door behind him. He rested his head on the door and closed his eyes. He slid down to the floor, resting his back on the door. _Why did I run away? He asked himself. He felt his heart pump really fast. Part of him really wanted to hear what Sakura was going to say, he missed her so much, he haven't talked to her in so long, but the other part was scared, and frustrated, and he let the second part take over him. The situation was too much, he wanted to thank whoever made that noise in the hallway. __You can't run away from her forever! And you know you want to talk to her, you know you love her, you know that even if you went deaf you could still hear her voice echo in the walls of your heart…. A voice in his head kept telling him. Syaoran walked to take a hot shower, he drowned all his thoughts away, and went back to bed. _

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                     "Moshi moshi?" Sakura said into the phone the next morning, she called Tomoyo.

                     "hai?" Tomoyo replied.

                     "It's me, Sakura," she said happily.

                     "SAKURA-CHAN!!!" Tomoyo exclaimed. 

                     "I designed tons and tons of costumes waiting for you to try out when you come back, and I also made lots for Li-kun!" she said, and immediately stopped herself right there.

                     "Oh yah….what happened with Li-kun, are you guys back together yet?" She asked. Sakura sighed, which was successfully heard by Tomoyo on the other side. She knew something was wrong.

                     "He's been trying really hard to avoid me and I can hardly get more than 10 words to him," she said. Tomoyo sighed.

                     "Li-kun loves you, don't worry, I know he does, and I know you do too, go for it, I have faith in you, and Li-kun, make me proud," she said gently. 

                     "I will, tomoyo-chan, I will…" Sakura said, her voice slowly fading away, as she was lost in her own thoughts again.

                    "Well, anyways, I can't talk for too long, I don't want to make them pay a high phone bill," she said.

                    "Ok, Sayonara!" Tomoyo said.

                    "..Sayonara," Sakura said and hung up. 

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                    Meiling watched Syaoran and Sakura eat their lunch in total silence. She tried to make a conversation but it failed, nobody seemed to want to talk. She sighed. 

                   "Okay, I'm going shopping today, and the things are on sale, so if I don't go now, it'll all be sold out, so JA!" Meiling said and left. Sakura and Syaoran remained silent at the table. 

                   "I'm going to go back to the training room now," Syaoran said quietly as he got up from his seat to leave.

                   "Matte, Syaoran-kun!" Sakura called out. Syaoran stopped but didn't turn around.

                   "I know it hurts, but I need to get things cleared with you, meet me at the park tonight at 8:00, I don't want to face this anymore than you, but I think we both deserve a conclusion," Sakura said. Syaoran's eyes widened a bit, and he hurried to the training room. __

_                  Should I go? I know she's right, but I don't know if I want to hear what she has to say, I don't want to have a new memory of words I do not want to hear, echoing in my mind again and again He thought to himself. He continued on his training, to forget all his problems and think about the later. He felt like crying, but he didn't. When his eyes blurred, that everything became swirled and duplicated, he closed his eyes and waited for them to pass away. He will NOT be weak again. He will be strong, he will not cry, and he will not disappoint himself again. High expectations only led to hurt, pain, and disappointment. It hurts to be disappointed in someone special, but it hurts even more to be disappointed by himself. Like the marks he got when he was small, he will not let Sakura raise his hopes and then let it drop below the molten lava in the core of the earth. How long could he escape his problems? He didn't know. But he knew he had done enough standing up, enough facing, now is the time to forget._

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                  Sakura stood at the center of the park when night came. The usually warm Hong Kong was suddenly cold to Sakura. She had her hands on her arms as the wind blew past. She looked around. She wasn't sure if Syaoran would actually come, but she had to wait. She would wait until he actually came. She would wait forever if that's the cost of it. She sat down on the bench. Lots of people past by her, each time she looked up to see if it was Syaoran, but he didn't appear. 3 hours past by but he didn't come. Sakura didn't move. She still had her eyes peeled on the road that he should be coming from. It started to rain, but Sakura didn't move. The water soaked her coat and her tied up hair was soaked and her hair covered her face. She watched the water drip from the tip of her hair, drop by drop, like the blood from the wound in her heart, drop by drop, it hit the surface of her thoughts, covering it. _Syaoran__, I know you will come……I believe in you. _

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                    Syaoran stared out the window as he saw the rain pour. The water dropping on his window, he felt like hammer was hammering his heart inside. He knew Sakura was out there waiting for him. He looked at the clock, it was 12:00 a.m he was four hours late already. He didn't move. He turned around and tried to keep his thoughts away. He wasn't being indecisive, but something inside was stopping himself, stopping him from going to Sakura. After quite some time, he was going to get something from his shelf, and hit the desk, causing something hard to fall down. He heard the glass shatter. He bent down to pick it up. It was the picture of him and Sakura from grade 6. The frame broke. He slowly lifted his finger to touch the picture behind the broken glass. The glass cut his finger, the blood dropped onto the picture. He didn't care. He tore the picture out of the frame and lifted it in front of him. His heart was crying out. A thunder was heard, and he turned around, the rain was getting heavier and it was lightning. 

                     He walked downstairs as he heard the T.V. 

                    "The storm seems to be getting heavier! The lightning has struck a tree in the park, and it seems as though someone has been severely injured…" the news reporter continued, but the picture in Syaoran's hand slowly floated onto the ground as his trembling hand squeezed together. 

                    "hey, Syao-," meiling started, but before she could continue, Syaoran ran past her and ran out the door slamming it behind him. He didn't even take a coat or an umbrella, he ran out.  Meiling widened her eyes. _What's wrong with him? And where's Sakura? She thought. _

                    Syaoran ran and ran through the streets, bumping into people on the way apologizing and ignoring the rude comments. He ran to the park and searched around. _Wait…they said the park, they didn't say it was this park……but there aren't a lot of parks in hong kong……argh, where is she?! He yelled in his head. He ran to the bench Sakura was sitting in, but she wasn't there anymore, he found a hair clip that belonged to Sakura on the bench. He started to panic. He was so nervous that he's even forgetting the tears welled up in his eyes. __I won't lose her, I won't lose her…. He repeated in his head._

                     "SAKURA WHERE ARE YOU?" Syaoran called out. His messy hair was soaked and was messier than ever, his robe was just as soaked, it practically stuck onto him. He tried to concentrate on Sakura's aura, but he couldn't find it. He was panicking too much. The thought of losing her was too much. 

                     Sakura thought she saw Syaoran's back, and he was crossing the street. She ran to chase after him, thinking he was Syaoran.

                     "SAKURA!!" Syaoran cried out again. He looked around and came out, just as he saw Sakura running to the intersection. The lights were switching but Sakura continued to run to the person. She caught up and grabbed his arms. The person turned around and she realized it wasn't him, and was someone else. 

                    "I'm sorry," She muttered, and as she turned around, she didn't realize the lights were already turned red, and the cars were starting. 

                     A truck was headed towards Sakura, and the driver didn't see her, as she was wearing black and small, he had on loud music and wasn't paying attention. Sakura froze right there. She squeezed her eyes closed as the trucks came inches towards her, she held her arms up in front to protect herself, but she was too paralyzed to get her wand out. She thought she was going to get crushed. _….I love you syaoran_

                     A pair of hands pushed Sakura out of the way, and he turned around just in time to see the huge lights of the truck come in contact with his body. The truck driver realized he hit something and immediately stopped the truck. Sakura turned around and her jaw dropped. She ran to the body on the ground. 

                     "Syaoran…..Syaoran, don't leave me, get up, tell me you're okay," she said, sobbing, as her tears kept pouring. She held Syaoran on her lap and hugged him. 

                     "Please don't leave me," she cried, can't control her emotions. The truck driver came out and was wide eyed.

                     "CALL THE AMBULANCE!" Sakura screamed, as he hurried to call the ambulance. 

                     "S-sakura…" Syaoran mumbled. Sakura diverted all her attention to him.

                     "Sorry," he said weakly._ I'm sorry to myself as well..i've failed myself and gave in to my emotions again. Sakura shook her head furiously._

                     "No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for all that I caused you," she cried, her tears mixing into the rain. He lifted his hands up a bit. Sakura held his hand tightly.

                     "Don't leave me, please, I need you, I still have a lot to tell you, I lov-" She sobbed, but didn't get to finish because Syaoran cut her off.                    

                     "I'd been complaining about my life, I was wrong.. it shouldn't ma—matter how it began, who I met in the way…..it all comes down to how life ends. What really matters is how it ends. And who will be by my side when I do, And I tell you…S-Sakura, this is a an ending that I never dared to ask for, I know you won't love me the way I did to you, and I just want you to know, In my heart, I do not mind. I didn't lie to myself, I love you, but you shouldn't lie to yourself neither, nor to me if you really do not feel that way," he said as he choked a bit. Sakura cried. 

                     "No…it won't end, I need you, you can't leave me," she said desperately. His half opened eyes stared into the emerald eyes that gave him peace as he knew his life was coming to an end. Sakura held on tighter to his weak body and her tears continued to drop.                                                               

                     "Sakura…promise me, that you will be happy, I want you to smile, even if the smile won't be for me," he said. 

               "I'm going to leave this world heartless. My spirit will leave, but my heart will forever remain with you," he mumbled, and his amber eyes slowly closed as his eyelids closed. 

                     "I love you…." Sakura choked, but the words never reached his head, as he fell back lifelessly. Sakura sobbed harder. She looked up into the sky as the rain continued to hit her face.  The ambulance arrived, but Sakura held tightly onto Syaoran. Knowing that he was already gone, His lifeless body was still in her warm embrace. She placed her lips on his purple lips, softly, but the memory of it will never get to Syaoran, only in hers. 

                     ……_Aishiteru__                        ___

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    The end…..

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 Author's notes: ….Ok..i can't believe it ended….well, it did, what can I do? **I'm going to touch it up with an epilogue, ok?…sequel? I just didn't want to make it like the typical ones where he comes back, or like an angel…it's a bit just…not the way I wanted to make it..but..i duno? If you would like mE TO DO A SEQUEL…then tell me…or give me ideas, anything is well appreciated....****I hope this chapter hasn't disappointed anyone, I'M SORRY if it didn't end the way you wanted it to, but I got a bit sick of the 'let's kiss and make up' right away kind of thing…don't kill me! So if you'd like something, like a sequel or something after you read the epilogue, I can try or something..^__________^ I'll think it over, k? k but I'm not promising anything…don't forget to review!!! SAYONARA!!!!**

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	14. Epilogue

Epilogue                    **Everything For The One Thing I Can't Have**

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Author's Notes: HEYHEY!! Okay..this is a SHORT epilogue…I don't know, but I thought I should put this at the epilogue okie doks? Oks…Gomen nasai Minna-san for the late post!! Sorry.. I haven't been in the mood to write lately, and it was starting to loose my interst…but anyways, here's the VERY VERY LAST piece to this story…My apologies to everyone who was disappointed in this story or have been waiting for this, I have a feeling that this isn't going to get a lot of reviews, but *sighs* here it is. I actually typed it up a long time ago, but never posted it up **Sorry BUT I have decided NOT to make a sequel..I'm really really sorry, but I felt that it would lead to nowhere, and the typical rebirth stories are getting on my nerves, so I'm sorry. But I hope that u will tune in on my future stories.**

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**Thank you's list:**

**aZnDrEaMeR1788-****thanks for reading my story, here's the epilogue, hope it won't disappoint u.**

**Feline Angel Sakura- **Sorry I never emailed u, I think I might have missed that until I just checked it out today to type this, but I'm sorry u don't like this ending, but I was getting tired of happy endings..in fact, I never really wanted to end it this way, I wanted it to end in a peaceful way, in a simple realization of letting go, but there's nothing to do now, so I'm really sorry if u didn't liked it, but that's the way it is.

**Pink Cherry Blossom- **Here's the epilogue, I'm so sorry that I can't make a kawaii chibi Syaoran tenshi..^________^'' but I felt that I couldn't really continue this story with it actually making sense, and apparently I haven't been in the mood at all, I hope u understand, but thanks for reading this story, I hope u weren't disappointed and will think about reading some of my other stories or future ones, anyways, arigato pink cherry blossom-chan ^______^

**Jenny- **Thanks for reading this story, and I don't mind about the email, I'm glad u liked the story, here's the epilogue.

**Anmefreak242- **here's the epilogue, and I agree that a sequel wouldn't work well, this is the way it'll be. 

**Syakura****- thanks for reviewing, I'm glad u liked this story.**

**Agent cloud skimmer- **…*hides under the table* I'm so sorry! But I'm not making a happy sequel, n I hope u will forgive me…*sniff* ^_______^''

**UR TWIN- **hihi twin-chan, I hafn't talked to u in sum time already…*sighs*…newayz, did I ever tell u? Jay scrubbed the windows on the streets bcuz he lost a bet to his crew n rui en after finishing his An hao mv…hehe…newayz, *waves* I'm going away to montreal for 4 days! Yay! Hehe…newayz….cya some time.

**Diana@Lineelu2001- ***blinks* here's the epilogue, that means u won't eat me, right? ^____^ yay! Hehe…anyways, thanks a lot, here's the epilogue.

**Silverwing****- …darn it, I'm starting to hate typing the thank you's list now..-_______-'', bcuz I hafta keep feeling guilty and telling ppl I won't be making a sequel..lol, hehe im jk, but I really am sorry if this will disappoint u, but I hope u understand.**

**Lauren- **Thanks for the review, here's the epilogue.

**ARCHANGEMON- **Hello, I know that this story hasn't been to well…I feel like I've messed up the whole story with this horrible ending, I wanted it to be something nice and simple, sad but the kind that will pull a smile, if u kno wut I mean. But anyways, here's the epilogue.

**Sammie- **thanks for the review, here's the epilogue.

**Aerisakura**** and Smashfriends- thanks so much for all ur reviews, here's the epilogue I hope u'll like it.**

**Kotsch****- thanks so much! I luv all ur stories so much, ur a much  much better writer than me, so keep on updating ur stories! N I'm really happy that u liked it, here's the epilogue.**

**MistressOFfate****- thanks a lot for ur review, here's the epilogue!**

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                     Sakura stood at the airport without moving. Tomoyo ran towards Sakura, first smiling, but later, realizing Sakura was alone and she wasn't smiling at all. 

                     "Sakura-chan, you're back, what happened? Where's Li-kun?" She asked. A single tear rolled down Sakura's cheeks. Tomoyo walked up to her and gently gave her a hug. 

                     "What's wrong?" She asked gently. Sakura just shook her head. No words could escape from her tightly pressed lips. She didn't move.

                     "Let's go back first," Tomoyo said, taking her bags and pulling her arm, but Sakura remained still. Finally,

                     "…I can't come back," She whispered in her sore, choked voice. Tomoyo blinked confusedly. 

                     "why?" She asked. ~ _"JA NE, MINNA-SAN!"_ She called. Tomoyo smiled and walked forward.__

_       "IF YOU DON'T COME BACK WITH LI-KUN, I WON'T LET YOU COME BACK!" She called. Sakura smiled._

_       "DON'T WORRY I WILL!" She called, and got on the plane~. _ Sakura remembered Tomoyo's words the day before she left. 

                     "….because you said so," she said. Tomoyo continued to look confused.

                     "You told me I couldn't come back if I didn't have Syaoran-kun with me," she said. Tomoyo looked relieved a bit.

                     "Sakura-chan, I didn't mean that," She said gently. "Come on, let's go home," she said as Sakura followed slowly behind her. 

                     They sat in silence, Sakura just stared out the window. Tomoyo wanted to ask her what happened, but seeing Sakura's expression then, she knew Sakura didn't want to talk about it yet, so she kept silent. After the arrived at her house, Tomoyo helped get her bags out and told Sakura to call her when she felt like talking about it. Sakura nodded. 

                    "Kaijuu, you're back," Touya greeted, Sakura kept walking upstairs ignoring his presence. Touya blinked.

                    "What happened to her?" He wondered. He held up his fist. _If it's that Baka Chinese gaki, if he broke her heart I'll have his head cut off_ Touya thought to himself angrily. Kero flew out of his drawer as he saw his Mistress come back, he was about to say something when he realized Sakura wasn't feeling well at all. Sakura sat down on her desk slowly. She realized there was a green envelope addressed to her on the desk.

                   "what's this, kero-chan?" Sakura asked. 

                   "It's a letter to you, it came in the mail box right after you left, I think it's from Hong Kong," he said. Sakura's eyes widened. She quickly opened the envelope. A tear at the corner of her eye slid down slowly. 

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                Sakura walked towards the grave, as the wind blew past. In her hands, she held a peony and a cherry blossom. She knelt down as she got in front of the grave. Lightly, she put the peony and the cherry blossom tied together in front of it. She dug a small hole, just enough to put the stem of the flowers into the ground, and she put the dirt back on it, the two flowers stood in front of the stone. She brushed off the dirt on the stone. 

              "Why….why didn't you wait for just another minute to hear…that I loved you…?" she whispered softly as a strong masculine hand rested on her shoulder. 

              "Let's go, dear."

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                  Only will himself, will understand the pain, only himself, could feel the rain and storm in his heart, and only himself, could only remember the forgotten memories…Only himself, did he know the sacrifices he made, he never wanted honor, he never wanted pride or a reward for what he did and gave. 

_                  His soul, his body, his spirit has left, he has gone…but the only question he could spit out in his mind before the moment life left his outer shell, was…would his memory, like it died on earth……too, die in Sakura's heart someday as well?_

_               …………Everything For The One Thing I Can't Have…_

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**The End.**

**_*sighs* at first I thought that this was one of my most successful story, but as I look back, I think I probably messed up my story with the ending, I wanted a sad ending, but not really that way, I'm not sure, but I won't change anything, and I'm still very proud of myself for this story even if I haven't received much reviews or anything, but I just want to give out a big Thank You to all of those who took the time to read this story, I really am, May the best be with you all the time. _**

**_                                                                                     -Syaoran's Tenshi Itsumademo _**


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